The Eternal Optimist

Where my dawg at?

2007-01-10T10:28:00.000-06:00

So I bet you're wondering if I am dead or something. Well, I'm not. Yet. I have been sucked into the MySpace vortex and am currently spinning out of control into Funland. So come on over and see my new, smaller, sillier blog posts (or blogettes, as I call them).

(Click on the blog title to go there)

Lora Leigh's dirty secret is out!

2006-09-21T11:15:00.000-05:00

You tricky little minx! You never told us you penned romance novels on the side! :)

Free Screening

2006-09-20T15:55:00.000-05:00

Also, it shows 11am at the Carver Theater. w00t!

Girly Men

2006-09-19T16:41:00.000-05:00

Panda inconsolable after crushing cub

2006-09-12T16:47:00.000-05:00

This is so sad for the panda, but I no longer wonder why they are close to extinction....

China's Ya Ya wails and looks for new-born twin she accidentally killed

BEIJING - Staff at a zoo in southwest China are in mourning after a sleep-deprived panda dropped her two-day-old baby and crushed it to death, local media reported on Friday.

“It was very sudden, but also unavoidable,” Guo Wei, panda department chief at Chongqing city zoo in the southwestern region of Chongqing, told the Chongqing Business News daily.

Ya Ya, a seven-year-old panda and new mother of twins, “appeared tired” when nursing the younger cub in a patch of grass, the paper said.

Her head sagged, her paws separated and her baby fell to the ground next to her. The panda then rolled on to her side and crushed her baby beneath her.

The tragedy occurred because she hadn’t slept or eaten properly since giving birth, Guo said, adding that Ya Ya lacked motherhood experience.

According to Guo, the zoo had tried on several occasions to separate the cub from its mother for their safety, but Ya Ya “was very cautious” and would “roar and bare her teeth” at zoo-keepers.

The elder of the twins was in good health and being cared for, zoo officials said.

But Ya Ya had proved inconsolable, wailing and looking for her baby after its body was taken away from her.

“Pandas who lose their young tend to be depressed for a month or so,” Guo said, adding that the zoo would assign people to care for her and provide special food to improve her mood.

Sidewalk 2006: Part One

2006-09-01T07:37:00.000-05:00

My film, Song of the Sparrow, got into the Sidewalk Film Festival this year. I am not sure when it plays, but will keep you all posted. They have announced the competitive feature films, and they all sound pretty amazing.

SIDEWALK ANNOUNCES COMPETITIVE FEATURE FILM LINE UP
Lineup spans the spectrum of comedy, drama, science fiction, suspense, horror and documentary

BIRMINGHAM, Ala. The Sidewalk Moving Picture Festival, recently recognized as one of TIME magazines Film Festivals for the Rest of Us, announces the stellar line up for the 8th annual festival, set for September 22 24 in downtown Birmingham.

Included in this year's competitive lineup are 10 narrative features and 9 feature-length documentaries. These films will be eligible for the juried awards in their category, including Best Feature Film and Best Documentary, each accompanied by a cash prize of $1,000. Additionally, Audience Choice Awards will be presented in both the feature film and documentary categories.

Sidewalk's mantra to bring new films to a new audience continues for its eighth year.

The competition features, selected from more than 130 entrants, are:

THE BIG BAD SWIM (93 min.) directed by Ishai Setton. A group of Connecticut locals meet at an adult education beginner's swim class in this comedy-drama about conquering fears, making friends and growing wiser. Starring Paget Brewster of Showtimes Huff.

CHALK (85 min.) directed by Mike Akel. In the comedic tradition and documentary shooting style of Arrested Development and The Office, CHALK tells the frenetic and awkwardly painful journey of three novice teachers as they navigate one memorable public school year. In a country where 50% of teachers quit within the first three years, CHALK delivers an enormous dose of heart, hilarity, and hope for Americas most important institution.

FIREFLY (105 min.) directed by Pete Marcy. FIREFLY interweaves the stories of three people seeking the mysterious truth about what happened one fateful Halloween night. Del woke up in his truck, hung over and covered in dirt. Brandt was found floating in a river. Susan was rushed to the hospital, bloody and cold. Now, a week before Christmas, Del is having nightmares, Brandt is losing confidence in his relationship, and Susan's memory of her assault is met with a mix of pity and doubt. There's also a little bald guy, whose unexplained clairvoyance leads him to those in need.
* Producer Adam Anderson scheduled to attend and participate in a Q & A after the screening.

THE GUATEMALAN HANDSHAKE (95 min.) directed by Todd Rohal. Following the confusion of a massive power outage, an awkward demolition derby driver vanishes, setting in motion a series of events affecting his pregnant girlfriend, his helplessly car-less father, a pack of wild boy scouts, a lactose intolerant roller rink employee, an elderly woman in search of her lost dog, and his best friend a ten-year-old girl named Turkeylegs.
* Director Todd Rohal and other cast and crew scheduled to attend and participate in a Q & A after the screening.

IN MEMORIUM (73 min.) directed by Amanda Gusack. Two months after being diagnosed with terminal cancer, a struggling filmmaker decides to document his illness. Still free from symptoms, he and his girlfriend, sublet a house and install motion-triggered security cameras throughout. A few days later, the cameras capture something unsettling: noises and movement in empty rooms. The next morning, Dennis' cancer begins to advance at an inexplicable rate.
* Director Amanda Gusack scheduled to attend and participate in a Q & A after the screening.

JUST LIKE THE SON (86 min.) directed by Morgan J. Freeman. A poignant story of unlikely friendship and redemption, JUST LIKE THE SON chronicles a petty thiefs attempt to help an eight year-old find a better life. Starring Mark Webber and Rosie Perez. 11:30 am, Sun. 9/24 @ Birmingham Museum of Art.

LOL (81 min.) directed by Joseph Swanberg. Alex, Tim and Chris view the women in their lives through the dimensions of a computer screen or the lens of a camera-phone. They struggle to balance their online fantasies and addictions with the demands of real life. LOL offers an honest portrait of how the latest tools of communication can either help us click or turn us off.

PUZZLEHEAD (81 min.) directed by James Bai. In a dreary world that has been depopulated and where technology has been outlawed, a reclusive scientist secretly creates a self-aware robot he calls Puzzlehead. The film shows us a man, a woman, a robot, a love triangle and the ultimate betrayal.
* Director James Bai scheduled to attend and participate in a Q & A after the screening.

SOMEBODIES (89 min.) directed by Hadjii. SOMEBODIES is a coming-of-age comedy about Scottie, a twenty-two year old African American college student whos just living life as it comes. Eventually his nonchalant approach towards life lands him in hot water. Encircled by a wild group of friends, an eccentric love-interest, off-the-wall family members, in-your-face convicts, and a fire and brimstone preacher, Scotties road to recovery becomes something more -- a riotous journey toward self-discovery.
* Director Hadjii and other cast and crew scheduled to attend and participate in a Q & A after the screening.

WE GO WAY BACK (80 min.) directed by Lynn Shelton. A funny, tender character study about a young actress whose refusal to admit to her romantic and professional dissatisfaction leads to a surreal confrontation with her past, WE GO WAY BACK explores the comedy and pain of finding the courage to face up to yourself.
* Director Lynn Shelton scheduled to attend and participate in a Q & A after the screening.

The competition documentaries, selected from more than 90 entries, are:

10 MPH (90 min.) directed by Hunter Weeks. In this comical documentary, a pair of aspiring filmmakers quit their jobs and turn a friend's ludicrous idea into a movie. The impulsive purchase of a two-wheeled Segway scooter sets the story in motion as the two friends decide to travel from Seattle to Boston at 10 MPH in an attempt to change their lives forever.

AWAKE, MY SOUL: THE STORY OF THE SACRED HARP (75 min.) directed by Matt and Erica Hinton. AWAKE MY SOUL is the first feature documentary about Sacred Harp singing, a haunting form of a cappella, shape note hymn singing with deep roots in the American south. Shape note singing has survived over 200 years tucked away from notice in the rural Deep South, where in old country churches, singers break open 'The Sacred Harp', a 160 year old shape note hymnal which has preserved these fiercely beautiful songs which are some of the oldest in America.

CLASS ACT (90 min.) directed by Sara Sackner. CLASS ACT weaves the national story of the arts disappearing from America's public school with the personal story of eccentric drama teacher, Jay W. Jensen. This humorous yet revealing look at America's schools as they abandon arts education includes a virtual who's who of Hollywood, including actor Andy Garcia and film director Brett Ratner.

DANIELSON: A FAMILY MOVIE (103 min.) directed by JL Aronson. A documentary about Christian faith vs. popular culture, underground music vs. survival, and family vs. individuality, DANIELSON: A FAMILY MOVIE follows Daniel Smith, an eccentric musician and visual artist, as he leads his four siblings and best friend to indie rock stardom, eventually facing the struggle to become viable as a solo act. Along the way he mentors Sufjan Stevens, a then unknown singer-songwriter, whose subsequent success contrasts sharply with Danielson's uneasy reception in the music world.
* Director JL Aronson scheduled to attend and participate in a Q & A after the screening.

DARKON (93 min.) directed by Andrew Neel & Luke Meyer. DARKON follows the real-life adventures of an unusual group of weekend "warrior knights," fantasy role-playing gamers whose live action battleground is modern-day Baltimore, Maryland, re-imagined as a make-believe medieval world named Darkon. These live action gamers physically act out their characters exploits, both in intimate court intrigue and in panoramic battle scenarios involving competitive strategies, convincingly real props, and full contact combat.

JAM (85 min.) directed by Mark Woollen. JAM follows the saga of the America Roller Derby League, a group of fading Roller Derby stars who, despite the fact that they are in their 50s and 60s, are determined to make the sport a national sensation once again. From the on-track battles, where long-time friends become gladiators engaged in vicious fistfights, to the off-track struggle to simply let the world know Roller Derby still exists, JAM shows how the pursuit of a dream can drive people to unbelievable extremes.
* Director Mark Woolen scheduled to attend and participate in a Q & A after the screening.

MUSKRAT LOVELY (60 min.) directed by Amy Nicholson. MUSKRAT LOVELY is an ironic and tender look at the yearly event of a close-knit community in a remote area of the Chesapeake Bay. Every year, contestants gather for two important competitions in the National Outdoor Show. Local high school girls compete to become Miss Outdoors, queen of the show and its representative for the year and -- on that same stage -- the worlds best muskrat skinners compete to see who can skin the fastest.

THE TRIALS OF DARRYL HUNT (106 min.) directed by Ricki Stern and Annie Sundberg. THE TRIALS OF DARRYL HUNT offers a deeply personal story of a wrongfully convicted man. A brutal murder leaves a white woman dead, and a young black man accused. This exclusive portrait of a harrowing wrongful conviction offers a provocative and haunting examination of a community and a criminal justice system - subject to racial bias and tainted by fear.
* Darryl Hunt and other subjects scheduled to attend and participate in a Q & A after the screening.

TIME AND TIDE (60 min.) directed by Julie Bayer and Josh Salzman. TIME AND TIDE is a poetic and absorbing documentary about a land and its people as they head toward irreversible tragedy. After nearly 20 years of living away from their homeland of Tuvalu, a group of expatriates return to their island to witness profound changes driven by global warming and globalization.

The 2006 Sidewalk Moving Picture Festival is set for September 22-24 in downtown Birminghams historic Theatre District. Opening Night tickets ($10 in advance / $13 at the door) and Weekend Passes ($25 / $20 for Sidewalk members and students with valid ID) are available by calling 1-800-590-4043 or online at www.sidewalkfest.com. Single Film Tickets will be available for $7 each (or three for $15) during the festival weekend. Tickets are on sale now! Additional information is available online at the festival website at www.sidewalkfest.com.

The 2006 Sidewalk Moving Picture Festival is sponsored by Stella Artois, EBSCO Industries, Black and White, Alabama Power Foundation, WBRC Fox 6, Charter Communications, Bright House Networks, al.com, Childrens Hospital and Birmingham magazine and is made possible, in part, by the Jefferson County Commission through the Jefferson County Community Arts Fund administered by the Cultural Alliance of Greater Birmingham.

The Sidewalk Moving Picture Festival is a project of the Alabama Moving Image Association, Inc., a publicly supported 501(c)(3) non-profit organization created to inspire, encourage and support films and filmmaking in Alabama.

About Sidewalk Moving Picture Festival
The Sidewalk Moving Picture Festival, a celebration of new independent cinema in downtown Birmingham, takes place the last weekend of September. Since its debut in 1999, filmmakers from across the country and around the world have come to Birmingham to screen their work at Sidewalk and have been thrilled to discover fresh, enthusiastic crowds eager to devour new independent cinema. The atmosphere at Sidewalk is electric with creativity and collaboration as film-lovers and filmmakers mix and mingle between screenings, participate in SideTalk panel discussions at the Sidewalk Tech Center, or simply enjoy food and live music at the Sidewalk Cafe located at 'G'. Don't miss your chance to be a part of what the Ultimate Film Festival Survival Guide calls "One of the Top 10 Film Festival Vacations."

In 2005, the Sidewalk Moving Picture Festival was honored to recognize Mr. John C. Reilly with the inaugural Spirit of Sidewalk award, for his amazing body of work. Other past attendees of the festival include: Peter Gilbert (HOOP DREAMS), Amber Benson (BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER), Mary Kay Place (THE BIG CHILL), Mary Lynn Rajbuski (24, PUNCH DRUNK LOVE, SWEET HOME ALABAMA), Dash Mihok (THE THIN RED LINE, ROMEO + JULIET), Dan Myrick (BLAIR WITCH PROJECT), Vincent Kartheiser (ER, ANOTHER DAY IN PARADISE, ANGEL), Chris Gore (IFC, FilmThreat.com), Daniel Wallace (BIG FISH), Gill Holland (HURRICANE STREETS), Adrian Grenier (HBOs ENTOURAGE, Woody Allens CELEBRITY), Louise Fletcher (ONE FLEW OVER THE CUKOOS NEST), David Keith (AN OFFICER AND A GENTLEMEN), Chris Mulkey (TWIN PEAKS) and many more up and coming award winning filmmakers and stars.

Compliments

2006-08-14T15:26:00.000-05:00

Most everyone loves compliments, right?

"I love that dress!"
"You look handsome!"
"You don't suck."

Remember how good you feel when you hear those? They only carry more pertinence when it comes from someone you really admire. Take a look again at those examples:

"I love that dress!" declared Vera Wang.
"You look handsome!" said an envious Brad Pitt.
"You don't suck," said the slightly impressed Chuck Norris.

All of a sudden, you feel ten times better than if someone you were friends with had said it. Still with me? Imagine then, the complete opposite:

"I love that dress!" squealed the resident fashion victim at the office, before you quickly scurried back to your desk, mumbling some excuse about expecting an important phone call.
"You look handsome!" sighed your hideously ugly blind date as you regrettably entered the restaurant and mentally beat the shit out of the friend who arranged this date in the first place.
"You don't suck," said the asshole who tried to get more from you than you're willing to give on your first date, before you kicked him in the balls and told him to fuck off.

Thanks, but...should I be insulted? Not so heart-warming now, are they?

In Need of Roommate

2006-07-18T09:35:00.000-05:00

Hey guys! I posted this in the MySpace classifieds, but that place looks like a graveyard, so maybe you guys can help me. I need a roommate! My current roomie is getting married (yay!), but sadly, she will be leaving me (boo!). So if you know of anyone in Birmingham or needing to move to Birmingham, let me know!

=========================
MOVE IN AUGUST! $350!

I live in a duplex in a cute little community of about 6 houses. It is simply gorgeous. Located on Montclair Rd. by the post office, you would be less than 3 minutes from Crestline Village (Piggly Wiggly, La Paz, Starbucks, gas stations, library, police/fire, Surin, etc.) and over the mountain from Forest Park (V. Richard's, La Reunion, etc.). Also, it's right up the road from Highland Park area and in the other direction, Crestwood and Irondale. Within 15 minutes of Publix, Walmart, Home Depot, and eateries galore.

Details on the apartment:
- fully furnished (minus available room)
- dishwasher
- washer/dryer
- big covered patio
- spacious kitchen
- HUGE living room
- a den (which I turned into a computer/workout room)
- high ceilings

Details on the available room:
- master bedroom
- your own private bath
- two BIG closets
- storage space above closets

Other points of interest:
- I do have a cat, but he is very laidback and will not go in your room unless you coax him in there.
- Landlord takes care of landscaping and pest control.
- Water and garbage covered by landlord.
- Electric and gas bill to be split down the middle.

Contact me at myspace.com/nastily, or email me through my profile here.

Take on Me

2006-07-13T15:42:00.000-05:00

Take on Me

Quite possibly my favorite music video. Ever. The acting is actually pretty good, the concept was kind of revolutionary (if you ask me), he's hot, and it's an awesome song. Plus, I kind of like the romantic elements.

Yes...I CAN be romantic, despite my cold heart of stone.

Schmap!

2006-07-06T09:52:00.000-05:00

Hey guys, here's a neat little thing for all you travelers out there. It's called Schmap! See the drop-down box to the right of my page where all my links and buttons are? Pick a city you're visiting, download the player and interactive guide to your desktop, and start planning and exploring!
~ Dynamically explore a city, island or region
~ Play virtual tours of recommended hot spots
~ Custom print your own destination guides
Every Schmap Guide comes with dynamic maps, useful links, playable tours, top picks, plus photos and reviews for hundreds of sights and attractions, hotels, restaurants, bars, parks, theaters, galleries, museums...

Check out the website and see what all Schmap can do for you!

Added bonus-- they used one of my pictures for the Nashville guide. Yay!

Nat King Cole

2006-06-30T10:59:00.000-05:00

"...was a merry old soul, and a merry old soul was he."
Heh. Just kidding.

I was listening to some song comps I had made for G&D's wedding and stumbled across this lovely nugget of wisdom by Nat King Cole.

When I fall in love it will be forever,
Or I'll never fall in love.
In a restless world like this is
Love is ended before its begun,
And too many moonlight kisses
Seem to cool in the warmth of the sun.

When I give my heart, it will be completely,
Or I'll never give my heart.
And the moment I can feel that you feel that way too,
Is when I fall in love with you.

This song was followed by The Beatles singing "Besame Mucho (Kiss me a lot!)," which is awesome the minute it starts with, "Cha-cha-boom. UH!" Those crazy British kids.

The Curse of the Trilogy

2006-06-20T15:52:00.000-05:00

Trilogies can be a God-send. They have the power to makeup for all the mistakes that the sequel made. For example, I think Bill and Ted could use a third movie. Don't get me wrong-- the second one was pretty entertaining, what with the Grim Reaper and them playing for their souls over Twister and Battleship. But was it better than the first one? No way. "Be excellent to each other!"

But what if the sequel is even better than the original? That would mean that the third installment has the potential to be a real stinker in comparison. You can imagine how eager I am to see Spiderman 3. The second movie wiped the floor with the first! I have high hopes that the third will be equally smashing, but I have some nagging doubt in the back of my mind. We'll just have to wait and see.

When it was in theatres, I saw the third chapter of the Final Destination series. Before we get into it, let me share my thoughts on the first two:
1.) Ali Larter + bus death + attention-grabbing first 15 minutes = awesome.
2.) Best car wreck scene ever. EVER! And those deaths? Gave me some new phobias to barbed wire and prosthetic arms. I also love the explosive ending.

So, as we can see, although the original has the best acting and will always be the most, well, original, the second one, in no way, let me down. What would the third one do? It was sink or swim time.

3.) Curse? What curse? Oh my stars and garters! We have a winner! After the 15 minute mark, I was a tad worried for two reasons: a.) the traditional opening death sequence was not as great as its predescors. It's hard to get a good view of the carnage when a rollercoaster makes for choppy camera movements. b.) who the hell are all these actors? Not a familiar name in the lot. As the movie progressed, both fears were quickly put to rest. The deaths got more and more radical and inventive, and the acting was not too shabby. My hat goes off to our leading lady. I would also like to be so bold as to say that, of the three, this one had the best ending. My drop literally dropped. Wow.

So there you have it. If you enjoyed the first two, see the third one immediately!

You know, I had started to use the Mission Impossible series as an example, but I think we went too far by even having a first part. It was so confusing and boring. The second one was a tad better (thank you, Dougray Scott), but with the third installment already out, I think it best we stop talking about it right now.

One other franchise that has beaten the odds is X-Men. I was a bit shocked with the third one. It made some pretty bold moves in regard to character kill-off's and plot happenings. Thankfully, I am a fan of the comic and have hope that, if my theories are correct, we will have some resitutition in the fourth installment. *lick lips and rubs hands together greedily* Mwa ha ha!

Crying Dream

2006-06-20T15:33:00.000-05:00

We had Mary Kay people in our apartment till midnight last night, so needless to say, I am a little sleepy. If one could be a log, then that is how I slept. But this particular log did wake up once in the night. Why? I was crying profusely.

Ever have one of those dreams that may not be sad enough to make you cry in real life, but in your dream, it is simply horrible? That was the one I had last night. I don't recall what was so sad about it, but it involved my entire family. That's a soft spot for ole Natty. Anywho, I woke up in the middle of a heart-wrenching sob. I remember just laying there for a good solid minute, crying and remembering the dream. I finally became so exhausted that I fell asleep on the spot, not rolling over or anything, and barely wiping the tears away.

I know this probably sounds weird to say, but I don't mind those dreams. I love all my dreams, no matter how horrible they are. It's comforting to know that they are only dreams, and that they are simply trying to tell me about myself. And you must embrace every emotion God gave you. Each one is a gift and is helpful in functioning in every day life.

That and $1.65 will get you a tasty coffee at La Reunion.

First Day of 26-dom

2006-06-15T10:30:00.000-05:00

Not too shabby. Today the office peeps take me to lunch. Here's to free food!

Adam took me out to The Village Tavern, where I enjoyed a very tasty filet mignon and creme brulee. For gifts, he gave me the first two seasons of Saved By The Bell, Blue October's CD, and a 3-disc set of Queen's greatest hits! Holla! I got some yummy smelling lotion from Katherine and my folks are going to help me with my trip to NYC. Yippee!

And so, with the song on repeat, here are the lyrics to Blue October's "Hate Me":

(Spoken)
"Hi Justin, this is your mother, and it's 2:33 on Monday afternoon.
I was just calling to see how you ware doing.
You sounded real uptight last night.
It made me a little nervous, and a l... and... well... it made me nervous, it sounded like you were nervous, too.
I just wanted to make sure you were really OK,
And wanted to see if you were checking in on your medication.
You know I love you, and...
Take care hunny
I know you're under a lot of pressure.
See ya. Bye bye"

I have to block out thoughts of you so I don’t lose my head
They crawl in like a cockroach leaving babies in my bed
Dropping little reels of tape to remind me that I’m alone
Playing movies in my head that make a porno feel like home
There's a burning in my pride, a nervous bleeding in my brain
An ounce of peace is all I want for you. Will you never call again?
And will you never say that you love me just to put it in my face?
And will you never try to reach me?
It is I that wanted space

Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me for all the things I didn't do for you

Hate me in ways
Yeah ways hard to swallow
Hate me so you can finally see what’s good for you

I'm sober now for 3 whole months it’s one accomplishment that you helped me with
The one thing that always tore us apart is the one thing I won’t touch again
In a sick way I want to thank you for holding my head up late at night
While I was busy waging wars on myself, you were trying to stop the fight
You never doubted my warped opinions on things like suicidal hate
You made me compliment myself when it was way too hard to take
So I’ll drive so fucking far away that I never cross your mind
And do whatever it takes in your heart to leave me behind

Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me for all the things I didn’t do for you

Hate me in ways
Yeah ways hard to swallow
Hate me so you can finally see what’s good for you

And with a sad heart I say bye to you and wave
Kicking shadows on the street for every mistake that I had made
And like a baby boy I never was a man
Until I saw your blue eyes cry and I held your face in my hand
And then I fell down yelling “Make it go away!”
Just make a smile come back and shine just like it used to be
And then she whispered “How can you do this to me?”

Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me for all the things I didn’t do for you

Hate me in ways
Yeah ways hard to swallow
Hate me so you can finally see what’s good for you
For you
For you
For you

[Children voices:]
If you're sleeping, are you dreaming,
if you're dreaming are you dreaming of me.
I can't believe you actually did this

Happy Birthday to Me!

2006-06-14T16:43:00.000-05:00

Or Russ likes to call it, Berfday!

I am 26 today. Good Lord that is old! :P

It's been an okay day. I received some flowers, a free lunch plus orange rolls, and I have had many well-wishers leave me messages on MySpace.

One negative-- work has been so crazy. One of my vendors had to stop and say, "You getting all of this?" And all I could say was, "Hold on-- I think I just had a brain hemorrhage." The sad part? I was not kidding. I have literally blown a gasket today.

All the more reason to get sloppy drunk tonight! Woohoo!

Cultural Resolution

2006-06-02T16:55:00.000-05:00

I suddenly have the urge to attend all of ASO's performances. And sit on the front row. With a camera. And binoculars. Wearing nothing but a conductor's wand.

Oh yes...come to Natty.

Take the Good with the Bad

2006-05-30T16:18:00.000-05:00

Allow me to paint an even geekier portrait of myself. Yesterday, upon my return to Birmingham from some Memorial Day R&R (Montgomery style), Adam and I went with Jamie and Crystal to eat some BBQ at Jim N' Nicks, followed by an hour of bowling. We spied a sit-down table-top Galaga/Ms. Pacman game and were in awe. In lieu of playing it, we went on to the game room to see what else they had. Dig-Dug, air hockey, and SkeeBall-- oh my! Adam saw a Marvel vs. Capcom 2, and of course he had to challenge me. He maye have reclaimed his thrown over air hockey, but he was not about to take MvC2 from me. No sir! I chose my players-- B.B. Hood, Magneto, and MegaMan. He went for the fan faves of Gambit, Wolverine, and Spiderman. I took him down all three times. He did not stand a chance. Once he died, I had to fight the computer on all 7 stages. I died in stage 6. Can you believe it? I thought the computer was supposed to be impossible to defeat. Either it was on kindergarten mode, or I am THAT good! I think it's the latter, because my score got 1st place on the machine and I got to put my initials into immortality. My score?

7,215,235,000

Eat that, Fred Savage. I was so overjoyed that I wrote it down in my pocket notebook, right behind my Galaga win. Oh that? It's no big deal, but on 3/3/06 at 9:37pm, I got a score of 86,100 on Stage 14. Did you know Galaga had a stage 14? I sure as hell didn't! I saw space critters that I never knew exited. It was awesome! I can't remember if my initials were entered, but the next time your at the Rave Motion Pictures in Vestavia Hills, AL, check out the top scores on Galaga, would ya?

=================================

On the opposite end of this spectrum, I received some rather disturbing news. I was at home this weekend in Montgomery and on Sunday morning my family and I went to church. In addition to honoring the vets, our church also reflects on church members we have lost in the past year. It's usually kind of sad, but it's meant to be a celebration of their lives. Anywho, I was watching the pictures and names go and there on the screen was my first church crush. (Contrary to popular belief, Keith was not the first one.) I gasped loudly-- do you know how hard it is to make someone literally gasp? It's not like the murder mysteries, people. You have to shock the shit out of them. My mom looked confused but gave me a tissue nonetheless. Upon further Googling from home, this was all I could find:

JARRETT, Jonathan Lee, 29, a resident of Montgomery, died Tuesday, June 28, 2005. Funeral services and survivors will be announced. Leak-Memory Chapel Directing
Funeral Home: LEAK MEMORY CHAPEL
Publication Date: 06/30/2005

I was in the 8th grade and had decided to go to a country-western theme party that the church was holding. The chaperones were trying to get us kids to dance, and someone asked me if I'd like a partner. I said sure, and she wrangled me a handsome senior by the name of Jonathan. We danced several times and chatted for a bit afterwards. Oh boy-- I was smitten after that. I sometimes go through my old diaries from back then, and they all say, "I <3 JJ." Silly, yes, but so are all 8th grade girls.

I can't believe I never heard about him dying through the grapevine. My mom usually finds out this kind of stuff from church or work and passes it on to me. I remember when I was a freshman in college. I was sitting in the computer lab of the freshmen girls' dorm and checking my email. I read one from my mom and gasped (which I think was my first ever). I found out that another crush of mine had been shot to death. Wilds Dubose, my junior high crush, had gotten mixed up with some bad stuff in high school. My mom told me that a friend of hers was on a police task force and was riding along in a squad car one night when they came to the scene. She said Wilds had been shot in the chest during a botched drug deal. The rest of the story is blurred, but it made me so incredibly sad. I remember I had a crush on him one year, then the next year he had a crush on me. And the next year? Well, we never got together.

What is it about crushes that can crush even after the fact? You never loved that person or dated them, but there was so much raw, hormonal, young emotions wrapped up into that person. It isn't heartbreak-- it's more like heartpummeling. Or heartwrenching. Anywho. Sorry to end on such a down note. If any of you knew either of these gents (like those of you who found me through Googling), please leave a comment, especially if you know what happened to Jonathan.

I Be Strokin'

2006-05-24T11:00:00.000-05:00

Last night, The Strokes played at Sloss Furnaces (my second concert there this month). It was pretty amazing. The opening band, Apples in Stereo, completely blew and their volume was way too high. I kept hearing speaker farts left and right. Sloss is not the best place to appreciate the acoustics, but it's all about the atmosphere. Not a bad seat in the house!

Anywho, The Strokes were amazing. Their lighting design was one of the coolest I have ever seen. Even though most of their songs sound the same, you have to appreciate the good times they bring. Just like The Ramones. They had a great set list, got right to the point, and really seemed to enjoy playing there. Kudos to them for entertaining the masses. Kudos!

No pics for you this time. I forgot the camera, which is a blessing and a curse. I was free to see it with my own eyes and enjoy it without worrying about my disk space and batteries, but I couldn't help feeling envious of the camera bearers around me. I almost mauled someone for their camera. That's serious love for the photography god right there, my friend!

This weekend is Jubilee City Fest in Montgomery and I will be going home to see Dwight Yoakum with my mom. I can't help it-- I love that man and his ohsotight pants! Will I get to meet up with Pocanor/Elehontas (a little nickname she earned whilst at the Magic Kingdom)? Will I see Bo Bice play on Sunday? Will I go swimming in my folks' pool? These questions and more to be answered upon my return.

Oh, and LL Cool T, I had a dream about you last night. I think I was with my mom and we were at an outdoor festival. (Maybe it was Jubilee-- I am clairvoyant!) Anywho, I ran into you and you had the cutest haircut! It was a tad longer than shoulder length with sexy, dramatic layers, and it had several shades of blond in it. You looked hot! Man, I miss you! I can't wait to see you again! Hope you are doing well! I hope all my peeps are doing well!

Photorgy

2006-05-17T09:53:00.000-05:00

Photorgy - an orgy of photos.

Okay, so it doesn't sound so cool when I write it out. Anywho, at the request of LL Cool T (formerley known as LL Cool G), I have changed my profile pic to one of me as Lobster Lady. Enjoy!

Here are a few of my favorite pics from Mexico. Click on the thumbnail for a bigger view:

Frayday

2006-05-16T14:52:00.000-05:00

Last night I got to see The Fray at Sloss Furnaces. That was an amazing show. The show openers were Moses Mayfield (local) and The Damnwells (NY). Both of them were good, too, but The Fray was unbelievable. I still can't understamd why I like them but not Coldplay. I don't dislike Coldplay, but I don't go crazy when I hear them on the radio. When I hear The Fray, I actually get excited. Take that, Chris Martin!

The good thing about a Sloss concert is that every spot is a good view. It almost pays to stay back away from the stage because you can see well and keep your hearing. I can't wait to see The Strokes there next week. Anywho, I digress. My buddy Michael had gotten us free tickets and, using his security clearance, got us backstage. w00t! They got off the bus just to take this picture. And since Adam didn't get to go to the show, I got Isaac, the singer, to talk to him on my cell. Adam couldn't understand half the stuff he was saying, but it was nice of him to do that. Very accomodating, despite the rumors.

Crispy Critter

2006-05-09T14:13:00.000-05:00

Hello children! I am back from Mexico! I have been back for about two weeks but I no longer have internet at home and work has been too hectic to have time to write. That's what sucks about a week-long vacation. You have a week's worth of shit to do when you get back.

Anywho, we all had a fabulous time. I got some major sunburn but it made me all tan and fresh-looking. Some random guy actually tried to pick me up when I got back, and he said, "You just look so beautiful and...refreshed." If a stranger can tell you just had some serious R&R, you must have had a hell of a time, right? I recommend Playa del Carmen to everyone. I am writing up a few travel tips that I gathered from the rtip and will share those once I am done.

Just a few highlights.
1.) Heather's wedding was beautiful. So fun, simple, and loving. And the margaritas they served were 90% tequila.
2.) We became so relaxed that I could never remember what day it was.
3.) The only reason I ever asked, "What time is it?" was so I could tell if happy hour had started yet.
4.) We ate when we were hungry; we went to the bathroom when we had to pee. We only had time restraints three times the whole week. Other than that, it was all about what we felt like doing.
5.) Tulum, one of the ruin sites, was amazing. I highly recommend it, though I hear this is the last year you are allowed to climb the stairs at Chichén Itzá. I kind of wish we had done that one instead, but once you see the Tulum pics, you will say, "Itza what?"
6.) Sunblock! SPF 45! All the friggin' time! Otherwise, you might as well stay inside and watch "Roadhouse" and Telemundo between 11-2.
7.) The ocean was the most beautiful I have ever seen. The colors were amazing and the water was nice and cool. We also had some nice waves to ride, too.
8.) Our hotel was on 5th Avenida, which was like Bourbon Street almost, just not as raunchy. All of the good eateries and bars were within walking distance, and all the bars were so unique. And the beach bars had swings for seating!
9.) They had so many different cultures represented down there. I had the best sushi right outside my hotel, which was also right across from an Arabic restaurant.
10.) The nightlife was so brotherly. I would see people sitting at nearby tables, and the conversations would all intermingle. Finally, one of the guys would get up and give some other guy a big hug and friendly kiss on the cheek. It was all very familiar down there, like you were watching soccer or rugby players having an "I love you, mate" moment.

Anywho, that should tide you over. Look for some pictures soon!

P.S. Tim, thanks again for being great tour guide!

Gringa en Mexico

2006-04-18T13:58:00.000-05:00

It's about 1:50pm on Tuesday and I am having a slight anxiety attack. I leave for Playa del Carmen, Mexico, tomorrow and I have not finished packing. It's my fault, really, because I have become so dependent on other people to help make my decisions that I cannot make minor ones, like what clothes to pack, without consulting someone. I hope it's not so that I have someone to blame for when I choose poorly. I like to think I take responsibility for my mistakes, but you never know with a girl who has panic attacks when she should be just plain excited.

Of course, I also had a lot of caffeine today, and for someone who quit it about four months ago, this is not good. Nor was the idea to have Sneaky Pete's for lunch. My body basically hates me right now, and I can't blame it one bit. Egads, why did I have to say yes to the onions? Did I not get enough with the Mongolian Beef last night?

Anywho, despite all this, I am excited, for this will be my first trip out of the US. I love my shiny new passport and hope to accumulate more ink on it in the future. Stamps are cool. I think I will leave early today so I can get a jump start on packing.

I will be back on April 25, so this will be a great vacation for me. I am stoked. So, in the immortal words of Janice Dickinson, "Au revoir, bitches!"

P.S. Yesterday was Scampy's birthday. Give him a shout out on Catster.

What's up, Nastily?

2006-03-27T13:44:00.000-06:00

So glad you asked, blog!

Did everyone have a good St. Patty's Day? Brooksie and I did!

Got to love everything Irish!

I made another short film in February. You may or may not have heard my audio posting on it. It wasn't a cartoon this time. I formed my own team and we won Audience Choice. There's no money involved with that award, but it still rocked our worlds.

I hosted my own Slumber Party last Wednesday. Slumber Parties is a company that sells adult toys but through parties you host yourselves. Kind of like Mary Kay, but instead of sampling lipstick and face creams, we were sampling lubes and bondage tape. Everyone had a blast, and for hosting, 10% of all sales went towards credit for me to use. Mwa ha ha!

Speaking of taboo shit, I have been having some bizarre dreams lately. This past weekend, I was at the folks' house, and something about my old bedroom sparks the craziest night visions. Some were fun, some were weird. Some were gross, some were sexy. One was a sex dream with some ugly, older guy from work. I hate it when you can't pick who you have sex with in a dream. Although, I do find it intriguing that you can climax while dreaming about ugly people. It's like no matter who the person is, it stills feels good to your body. (In your dreams, even lust is blind!) To make up for that, my mind let me dream about making out with this fella right here:

Nice, huh? That would be Chris Masters, professional wrestler for WWE. Adam and I met him at a Meet n' Greet on March 3. I never told you guys, but WWE came into town for Monday Night Raw back on March 6. That was a great night indeed. We were on the 2nd row and were invited to the VIP room where we had bathrooms, bars, and lounges. Sweeeeet. I got so drunk off cheap-tasting, expensive beer. I'll be sure to post some more pictures of that soon. Keep your eyes on the Flickr badge to your right. ------------------>

I had gone home this weekend because my brother had flown down to go with us to the new aquarium in Atlanta. Man, that place is amazing. It was well laid out, too. Imagine, if you will, a food court in a mall. There's tables, food vendors, and a lot of meandering room. Then, instead of Parisian and Macy's being off to your left or right, you come to Ocean Voyager and River Quest. Pretty neat, huh? Ocean Voyager was so kick ass we had to go through twice. This is where the whale sharks were at. You walked through the awesome tunnel with all these Hammerhead Sharks and schools of stingrays are passing over you. Then, you come to this giant room with a glass wall that is way bigger than any movie screen you have ever seen, and you can stand right next to where the fish are swimming. It was like scuba diving without getting wet. Amazing! Look for some pictures on my Flickr Badge soon.

In other news, I am moving into a new apartment this weekend (I hope). I am also getting a roommate. w00t. It should be good times for us both. I will be moving into Heather's old apartment. Or at least, that is the plan. It's a little up in the air right now. The realtor guy has been jerking us around a bit, but it is too late to actively pursue another place. We'll just have to hope this one works out.

In April, I will be heading off to Mexico for a week. Heather is getting married in Playa del Carmen and she asked me to come along. I can't wait! I've got money saved up, my bathing suit ready, and my luggage begging to be filled to the brim. This will be an amazing vacation. Look for a gazillion pictures in May.

Um, that's all I can think of for now. Be sure to check out the lineup for the 2006 Schaeffer Crawfish Boil. It'll be so sweet!

Interview

2006-03-23T10:32:00.000-06:00

I did this on MySpace, and I felt like sharing with you guys. Feel free to post your own answers in the comments section.

Q. Elaborate on your default photo:
A. When I worked at Dave's Pizza, we got these kickass beer delivery shirts to wear. I just wanted a good pic of me in it before I had to return it. And I was probably drunk.

Q. What's your current relationship status?
A. Sadly, I am spoken for. :P

Q. What exactly are you wearing right now?
A. Dark jeans, brown turtleneck, and brown boots. Exciting.

Q. What makes you most happy?
A. Laughing hard with other people.

Q. Can you play an instrument?
A. Oh sure! Cowbell, triangle, tamborine, castanets...

Q. If you MUST be an animal for ONE day, what would it be?
A. An eagle. I'd want to fly around but rest in the knowledge that if some asshole shot me he'd go to jail.

Q. Ever have a near death experience?
A. Eh, not really. I mean, any car accident could be near death because you never know, but all I got from mine was a sore neck.

Q. What's the name of the song that's stuck in your head right now?
A. "Living in a Box"

Q. Name someone with the same b-day as you:
A. Aaron. :D

Q. Have you ever vandalized someone's private property?
A. Like, with spray paint and shit, or just rummaging? I'll say no.

Q. Have you ever been in a fight?
A. Yup.

Q. Have you ever sang in front of a large audience?
A. What do you consider large? Karaoke, baby!

Q. What do you usually order from Starbucks?
A. Decaf or Vanilla Latte

Q. Would you ever hurt yourself on purpose?
A. Yes.

Q. Has anyone ever said you looked like a celebrity?
A. Yes, when I was 14 I heard Alicia Silverstone. When I was 23, I heard Jodie Foster. Yeesh.

Q. Do you still watch kiddy movies or TV shows?
A. "Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? SPONGE BOB, SQUARE PANTS!"

Q. Did you have braces?
A. For about a year.

Q. Are you comfortable with your height?
A. Yes sirree!

Q. Do you speak any other languages?
A. I am intermediate with Spanish.

Q. Have you ever been to a tanning salon?
A. Yup.

Q. What magazines do you read?
A. People, Cosmopolitan, and the occasional Maxim.

Q. Have you ever ridden in a limo?
A. Nope. :(

Q. Has anyone you were really close with passed away?
A. No. *knock on wood*

Q. Do you ever watch MTV?
A. As a last resort.

Q What's the latest you have ever stayed up?
A. Breakfast time (7am)

Q. Have you ever been rushed into the emergency room?
A. I wouldn't say rushed, more like scooted quickly.

O'Nastily

2006-03-17T15:19:00.000-06:00

Top o' the afternoon to ya, lads and lasses. Just call me Miss O'Nastily.

Have a great St. Patrick's Day and be sure to drink some green beer and go to a Poker Walk. Something about that is Irish, I guess, because we do it every year here in Birmingham. And later tonight is Appetite for Destruction, the coolest GNR tribute band in the land.

O Shillelagh! I best be gettin' done with me work!

Spamalot

2006-03-01T15:13:00.000-06:00

I thought the goal of spammers was to blend in with other people on your address book in order to entice you to open their email. I admit that I have fallen for a Dave Smith saying, "Good to see you again" in the subject line, only to see a virus attachment or penis enlargement ads. Luckily, I'm street smart and book smart so I knew not to open the file or go to the link. It only brings pain.

Going back to my argument of blending in, don't you think I would know an email is spam when the sender's name is Rumpelstiltskin F. Pullet? I can't think of a single nonfictious person who would for a second think, "Oh hey, ole Rumpel is sending me the secret to a leaner, slimmer body. What a great guy!"

If they're going to make a living with spamming, they need to not be so lazy. I guess if you get paid per email, it doesn't matter, but it's like they've just stopped trying. Those bums!

Unseen. Unforgotten.

2006-02-27T16:34:00.000-06:00

BIRMINGHAM, Ala. - Dozens of never before released photos from the civil rights era came to light this weekend after an intern discovered them buried in an equipment closet at the Birmingham News.

The photos had been in a box marked: "Keep. Do Not Sell." But at the time they were taken, the newspaper didn't want to draw attention to the racial discord of the 1950s and 1960s, news photographers from the period said.

"The editors thought if you didn't publish it, much of this would go away," said Ed Jones, 81, a photographer at The News from 1942 to 1987. "Associated Press kept on wanting pictures, and The News would be slow on letting them have them, so they flooded the town with photographers."

On Sunday, the photos finally went to print in a special eight-page section called "Unseen. Unforgotten." Others are on the newspaper's Web site at http://www.al.com/unseen.

You guys should download the PDF file that is a sort of photolog. Click here to download it.

Do not dwell on the past, but also, do not forget.

Scott Stapp is a moron!

2006-02-22T16:00:00.000-06:00

Well, we've already seen him get his ass kicked by 311. That was, indeed, awesome. I think he might need another blow to the nuts, though, after you read these nuggets of joy:

Stapp Arrested for Allegedly Being Drunk

One day after reportedly getting married, former Creed lead singer Scott Stapp was arrested for investigation of being drunk at Los Angeles International Airport.

Stapp was taken into custody by airport police at 6 p.m. Saturday on suspicion of being under the influence of alcohol, airport spokesman Tom Winfrey said Monday.

He was booked and released on $250 bail from an area jail the same day, Winfrey said.

Winfrey did not know what drew the attention of police to Stapp.

I know what drew attention to him-- the strong stench of douchepox grabbed them!

On the way to his own honeymoon...what a shame. But oh, it gets better. Today's news was an even bigger shocker.

Kid Rock Sues to Stop Sale of Sex Video

Kid Rock has won an initial victory in his attempt to stop a California company from releasing an explicit sex video featuring the rap-rocker, former Creed singer Scott Stapp and four women.
...
In an affidavit filed with the lawsuit, Kid Rock, who was born Robert Ritchie, said the video was shot in 1999 near Miami. At the time, Stapp was the lead singer of Creed.

Kid Rock said in the lawsuit filing that it was clearly understood that the video would remain Stapp's private property and would not be displayed publicly.

Joseph [David Joseph, the tape distributor] has said previously that he got the tape from a third party. It involved women from a strip club and was taken in a motor home, he said.

Seriously, what is this guy's problem? And in a motor home? Couldn't Creed afford a better tour bus than that? Must have been the stripper's residence.

I swear, every time I think I am having a bad day, I think back to ole Scotty here and laugh my ass off. Instant relief!

Scrambly

2006-02-18T19:28:00.000-06:00

Emotional 180

2006-02-15T13:09:00.000-06:00

It’s been awhile since I have posted a real entry. I thought last night was worthy of taking note. It was Valentine’s Day, and Natty had a date. A boyfriend. A love. It was the greatest V-Day ever. I have decided to retell it in novel form. But first a back story.

For Christmas, Adam had given me some beautiful diamond and pearl earrings with the words, “The next diamond I get you will be the one that counts.” Yowsers. That kind of freaked me out and that is one reason I have been so on the fence about our relationship. So, last week we went to a nice dinner and had a talk. I was honest and told him about my reaction to that, and I told him that I did not want to get engaged this year.
“Neither did I,” he said. “It’s expensive!”
“Yes, it is, but I know how you feel about me and it seems like you would ask me right now if you had the money for it. Maybe it is all in my head, but I feel like we’re not on the same level anymore. You asked me a couple of weeks ago if I was in love with you. It bothered me that I could not answer the question. It’s not that I don’t love you, but seeing as this is my first time in a relationship like this, I do not know if being in love is something that would have come to me by now, or if it is something that will come in time. And I don’t want to force an answer out because knowing how you feel about me, it’s almost worst for you to hear ‘maybe’ then ‘no.’ Know what I mean?”
“I completely understand that, and I don’t want you to tell me until you are sure. But I do want to tell you this. This is a first for me, too. Even though I have been married before, I know I was not in love with her. With you, it’s different. You bring out the romantic in me. You are worth waiting for in every way.”
“Good answer. Let’s eat!”

So that was that. Things have been really great between us, and I am loving every minute of it. And now, Valentine’s Day in novel form. Enjoy!

=================================================

      It was about 9am on February 14th when the phone rang. It was the receptionist, calling me to the lobby. I had a hunch, or rather, a hope, but I decided to hold out on the guessing. There was a long box marked FTD.com with my name on it. It was a bouquet of beige colored roses. I still find it amazing that you can mail flowers. It took me awhile to prepare them. A sort of build-your-own-bouquet set. I had to cut the stems, pluck leaves, water, feed, arrange, etc. After 10 minutes, I had the first bouquet of the day.

      At 6:45pm, Adam picked me up for our mystery evening. He had the night planned and would not tell me what we were doing.
      “Dress kind of casual, as in no big fuss.”
      He left his money clip at home, so we had to stop by there to get it. “Wait here. I’ll be brief.”
      “Okay, then I’ll be Susan,” I said, after he shut the door. I am my own box o’ amusement.

      After about 3 minutes, he came out with money clip in hand and handed me a blouse I had left over at his place during my last laundry visit. He looked at his watch.
      “Well, we have time before dinner. Your present is inside, so why don’t we do that first?”
      “Okay.” As we walked up to his door, I was excited and silly. “Did you get me a PONY?!?”
      “Ha ha, no.”

      The door opens and Michael Bublé is singing Sinatra while candles flicker in the living room. That sneaky devil. He takes me into the kitchen where the table is set with purple tulips, candles, and a spinach/feta/tomato salad for two.
      “Wow. So this is where our dinner reservation is.”
      “Chez Whitey is open for business. And, Chez Whitey has prepared everything according to your diet.”
      What a guy! After the salad, he has two dozen oysters waiting, on ice, with homemade cocktail sauce, horseradish, lemons, and Tabasco sauce. All the key ingredients for some damn fine oysters were present.
      “Yippee! You remembered!” Needless to say, I had been craving them for awhile.

      After convulsing and checking for nosebleeds from the strong horseradish, he then presented the main course—grilled tilapia and asparagus. It was really the best fish I have ever had. Seriously. Better than any restaurant.
      “Chez Whitey could kick Emeril’s ass in a cook-off.”
      “Thanks, baby. It’s all for you.”
      God, he’s a great boyfriend.

      We went to the living room after dinner to open gifts. I had already gotten my delicious gift, but I was nervous about how much he’d like mine. Adam has been composing a lot on his keyboard and taking piano and vocal lessons, so I went with that angle.
      “Sheet music for hits from the 80’s? Awesome! Want to pick the first one I learn?”
      “Hmm, it’s a three-way tie between ‘Take My Breath Away,’ ‘Sister Christian,’ and ‘Should I Stay or Should I Go?’ I think that’d be cool on piano.”
      “I think so, too. Well, then, I’ll just have to learn all three.”
      “Sweet. Hey, look at your next gift.” He pulls out a black three ring notebook.
      “Blank sheet music?”
      “Yeah, for when you have an awesome tune you need to write out.”
      “Baby, this is amazing. I needed this!”
      “So you really like it?”
      “Oh yes, very much.”
      “Well, I hope you like this last one. It’s a pocket journal. I got one with graph paper; that way, you could scribble lyrics and draw out your scales and notes or whatever when an idea hits you.”
      “Wow. This…this is great. Seriously. I love you so much.” Cue gratuitous kissing.

      Adam did have one last surprise for me—a CD he burned with all of his favorite love songs on it. There was Ben Jelen, Coldplay, REM, Damien Rice, and a bunch of other great artists. We cuddled on the couch and listened to the music while he drank wine and I had Perrier for the first time. The verdict? Carbonated water has no place in my world, but I drank it anyway…with tons of lemons.
      “Ooh, I almost forgot. Dessert!”
      “You made dessert?”
      “Yup, Chocolate Ricotta Mousse, approved for Phase I of the South Beach Diet.”
      “Baby, you rock.”
      “I know.” He then reached for my hand, pulled me up, and we danced to Michael Buble singing "That's All." It was wonderfully sweet.

      I have been feeling sick lately, and pretty tired, so he took me home shortly after that. And even though we didn’t go out on the town with the rest of the world, I had all the good times I needed right there with me.

      I love this man.

      The end.

Drowning in Doubt

2006-01-19T14:54:00.000-06:00

Do you guys remember those Grimm Fairy Tales cartoons that came on Nick Jr? They were made by the Japanese and dubbed over using the same voice actors for every episode. Anywho, I recently bought copies of it on eBay. I absolutely adored these cartoons as a child, and they are still as wonderful to me. I like to go home for lunch and watch a couple of episodes. My favorites included "Snow White and Rose Red," "King Grizzle Beard," "Donkey Cabbages," and "The Worn Out Dancing Shoes."

One thing that strikes me about Grimm fairy tales is that they do not waste time on falling in love. The handsome prince meets a young peasant girl and 10 minutes later asks her to marry him. I know it's only a cartoon, but it seems like that that is the way it truly was in the past. Even some of our parents have stories similar to love at first sight. Could you imagine being a peasant in a small village back in, say, medieval times? There were not a lot of eligible suitors/maidens to choose from, more than likely. But there would always be that one that captured your attention. They didn't have modern porn, dating websites, and whatnot to distract them from real life and real love and real situations. You would simply know this person from your village and decide to start a life together. When things are simple, and all you have are people to keep you entertained, I believe that is when a real bond and love can occur.

I almost wish I didn't read and watch such romantic stories. If you allow me to dorkify myself even more...I like to read Phantom of the Opera "phanphics" (AKA Fan Fiction-- stories written by fans using the characters from a movie/book). God, it's painfully embarrassing to admit that, but there it is. I love the Phantom, and I love to read stories about it. Why? Because that one true love theme is omnipresent. I read what people describe as this longing and need to be with this one person, someone you cannot live without (in this case, the Phantom needing Christine, and vice-versa). There is only one person that I cannot live without-- my mom. I don't know if that is sweet or pathetic. I cannot make true attachments to save my life. Sure, there are people I would miss fondly if I was suddenly put into solitary confinement, but I can't think of anyone that I would die without. I don't want to go the really sad route and talk about how horrible it will be when my mom does leave us, so let's go the less depressing route and talk about how hopeless I feel sometimes. (Cheery, no?)

My question, which I believe I have asked before, is this: Is reading all of this destroying my hope of finding happiness? I used to think it was keeping me optimistic about finding true love for myself one day, but now I think it is pushing me into the negative. I am starting to feel that I will never find that need for a person. I just often wonder if it is possible in today's age to find someone like that. Divorce is at an all time high, it seems. No one stays together anymore. This does not make me feel better about my attitude towards love. The Eternal Optimist will henceforth be known as The Doubting Thomas. I shall change my moniker if I do not recover. Heh. Seriously, though. I have maybe five friends that are near and dear to me. That's great. But what about boyfriends? I have one now, but who knows where we will be in a year. I love Adam, but it's still a young relationship. In fact, let's put him aside and speak in general, like I am a single girl.

I simply cannot bring myself to let go of my single life. I don't go trolling for guys or anything like that, but often when I am in that environment, I feel the urge to be single again. Honestly, I blame the bar scene for that feeling. That is what bars are for, if you ask me. That is why I went to bars all the time, and it was at my single, college-girl peak that I was frequenting the bars the most. To go back to the bars with a boyfriend just seems odd and confusing. It makes me think I am not ready for a relationship, and I beging to question my relationship rather than enjoy it. I am always worrying about the future and if I am going to hurt someone eventually that I find myself distancing myself.

I realize how hard it is to be in a relationship, and that is why people say, "I am [not] ready." You have to be ready. You have to be willing to give up a lot of free time, some relationships with your friends, your daily routine, etc. If you're an organized person and change fears you (i.e. ME!), then what the hell are you doing in a relationship? Get out before your whole life is changed! However...what if it is good to let some of that change in? Does it necessarily have to be a permanent change? Maybe you need that change in order to become the person you want to be. I kept saying I wish I knew what it was like to be in love, and I think I have experienced that with Adam. But was I really ready for it? The bad thing about testing the waters is you might like the way that ocean feels. Who wants to get out when it feels so good? But what if you miss the sand and the dryness? You don't want to hurt the water's feelings. The water is good to you. It is everything you like in water. It would never let you drown. But if you're going to stay in the water, you might drown yourself with doubt. You have to trust the water and yourself to allow yourself to float.

If you're a person that cannot make decisions very easily, how do you know when you're ready to swim?

I've got to end this. I've rambled on so much that I am not even sure all my points are validated. Oh well. You get the picture.

I Wish

2006-01-19T10:56:00.000-06:00

Thanks, Semisonic. You've summed up my present state in under 10 minutes.

I wish I could be anyone but the one that I am now
I wish I could see any scene but the one I hang around
I wish I could do anything but the things I always do
No matter how I try to sing along
Something is always wrong
What I wish I knew

I wish I could drive in the car that you drive around the Bay
I wish I could ride in the back seat you're riding in today
I wish I could be more like someone you wish that I could be
No matter how I change it anyway
You won't even say if you really want me

I can try to please you
Get down on my knees for you
Go outside and freeze for you
Cross the high seas for you
Whatever you need me to
I can climb the trees for you
Twist in the breeze for you
But there's one thing that I can never do
I can't believe for you
I can't believe in me for you

I wish I could turn into somebody far, far away
I wish I could make myself satisfactory in every way
I wish I could know whether you really know what you need
If I could only be somebody else
I wouldn't be myself
And maybe you'd want me

I can try to please you
Get down on my knees for you
Go outside and freeze for you
Swim the high seas for you
Whatever you need me to
I've been climbing the trees for you
Twisting in the breeze for you
But one thing I can never, never do
I can't believe for you
I can't believe for you
I can't believe in me for you

Cyclops Kitty, RIP

2006-01-11T15:08:00.000-06:00

I just heard about the one-eyed kitten, but I hear he died. It makes me sad. I don't know why. Just looking at his little picture breaks my heart.

Cyclops Kitten
A kitten born with one eye and no nose appears in a December photo released Jan. 9 by its owner in Redmond, Ore. The kitten, a ragdoll breed named Cy (short for Cyclops), died at just 1 day old. Its sibling was born normal and healthy.

And I hate myself for even posting it, because I know that leaves him open to possible ridicule and whatnot. So, if you do comment, be kind.

Today, I am an eggshell.

Homeland Security at its finest!

2005-12-21T10:17:00.000-06:00

En Garde! The Safe Bedside Table
No sharp swords or maces here. Remember to call 911 first before you start screaming things like, "Have at you, blackguard!"

I am a cat!

2005-12-13T09:48:00.000-06:00

Can you believe this? I actually have a hairball. Seriously. There's this little bit of hair stuck in the back of my throat. I have no idea how it got there, but I have been trying to hack it out for over 30 minutes now. Remember that scene from Shrek 2 where Puss n' Boots is bent over on all fours, hacking away? Imagine me, hunched over, grasping the edge of my desk, and hacking with all my might. I know what you're thinking-- so sexy. But it's true-- I have finally become a cat!

Wishes Do Come True

2005-12-08T15:46:00.000-06:00

Scott Stapp and 311 Brawl
Former Creed frontman gets in tussle with L.A. rockers in Baltimore

At Baltimore's Harbor Court Hotel on Thanksgiving night, members of Los Angeles rockers 311, on a day off from their national tour, got into a fist fight with former Creed frontman Scott Stapp, in town to promote his solo debut, The Great Divide. 311 singer S.A. Martinez suffered a fractured knuckle as a result of the brawl, which the band says Stapp started.

"We had just finished dinner and were at the hotel bar to watch the Lakers game when Scott Stapp walked in being very loud and obnoxious," Martinez tells Rolling Stone. "In fact, one of the first things he said was that he loved to fight. So he started doing shots and breaking the glass on the bar, almost hitting one of our crew guys. My wife and I moved to a table and eventually Scott made his way over and sat down. He was looking for attention. Even before that, he had wadded up a napkin that he lobbed in our direction. It was pathetic, and we tried to ignore him, but it was impossible. Then he made a pretty disrespectful comment to my wife, which I'd rather not repeat, but in no uncertain terms, the word 'fuck' was used. That's when [drummer] Chad [Sexton] walked over."

"I had run into Scott that day," says Sexton. "We have some things in common, like the same producer, and we chatted for a few minutes. So knowing we got along earlier, I kindly asked him not to disrespect anybody and reminded him that we're all friends. That's when he sucker-punched me -- hit me right in the face."

"When Scott punched Chad," adds Martinez, "in the follow-through, he hit my wife so then I threw my punch. I think the last time I got into a fight was in the third grade, but it was an instant reaction on my part. [311 bassist] P-Nut also came over and he got sucked into it, opening up a scar on his right arm from a recent surgery. Scott went down, and his girl came over and sat on him to get him to stop, but he got up, enraged, still wanting to fight. After about five minutes, hotel security finally broke it up and kicked him out. Honestly, the hotel was really at fault for not kicking him out when he threw the first shot glass."

Later that night, Martinez went to a local hospital to treat what's called a "boxer's fracture." His right hand is now in a cast, but he was able to perform the following day in Baltimore. "It was different, because I'm used to holding the mike in that hand," he says. "Thankfully, I can still bust a move."

Ironically, before the situation escalated, Stapp had told the members of 311 that he was a fan, according to Martinez. "He was telling us how he'd been to a show of ours in Florida, where he got up on stage, and that he was so thankful that we didn't kick him off," says the singer. "He was saying, 'You had no idea that you guys being so cool to me would inspire me to start a band, and for me to sell 30 million records, win a Grammy, VMAs, Billboard Awards . . .' He just went on and on, like some drunk guy who wouldn't shut the fuck up, while we just wanted to watch the game."

In the end, 311 insist they were acting in self-defense and, according to Sexton, have gone public as a response to rumors to "tell what really happened that so there's no misinformation out there . . . We're very positive people. We've preached positivity on every record we've made. We don't have altercations like this ever. And we even wish Scott well."

For Stapp, this is not the first such incident. In April of 2001, while a member of Creed, he was involved in a bar brawl in St. Augustine, Florida. Witnesses told Rolling Stone at the time that Stapp threw a punch at a man who had taunted him.

When contacted by Rolling Stone, Stapp's representative had no comment on the Baltimore altercation. And according to the Baltimore police department, no charges have been filed.

Fast November

2005-11-23T13:57:00.000-06:00

In the past two weeks, I have:
1.) walked the line
2.) fought a dragon by myself
3.) hitched a ride on a Vogon ship
4.) hatched from a coccoon and grown wings
5.) said goodbye to a man who was a hero and friend to many
6.) perused awesome photographs
7.) been Found
8.) won some awards
9.) seen my boss do the white guy dance in our hallway.

So what all have you done? ;P

A quick word or two about my November. Johnny Cash was a cheating man, but he still rocks. In a week's time, I watched all of the Harry Potter movies (finally got on board with that bandwagon) and loved them all. The new one is so friggin' awesome. I finally saw Hitchhiker's Guide, and was kind of glad it stopped before they went to the restaurant at the end of the world. I haven't finished the other books yet.

If you think you might like anime, especially the series "Lain," be sure to check out his newest series, "Habanei Renmei." A quick convo snippet to whet your pallet:
Communicator: To recognize one's own sin is to have no sin. It is the riddle of the 'Circle of Sin'.
Rakka: So if I really am a sinner, and I'm not supposed to be here, then please... take me back to the place where I'm supposed to be. This place... this town is too good to me. Everyone is so caring and treats me so kindly. I feel so guilty! If the dream I had is real, I want to go back. I have to go back! I have to apologize!
Communicator: Then, do you recognize your own sin?
Rakka: If I do, does that mean my sin will be erased?
Communicator: Think about it. To recognize one's own sin is to have no sin. So, are you a sinner?
Rakka: Uh! But if I think I have no sin, then I become a sinner!
Communicator: Perhaps this is what it means to be bound by sin. To spin in the same circle, looking for where the sin lies, and at some point losing sight of the way out.
Rakka: What's the right answer, then?
Communicator: Think about it. You must search for and find the answer yourself.

The Found Magazine event was a great time for all. Basically, you send in things you find on the street, like lost notes and old photos, with a line or two about how you interpret it, and then they publish it. Davy Rothbart, the founder of the mag, read some of his favorite pieces, including the note that started it all:

Later in the evening, his brother, Peter, played some songs inspired by some of the love letters. He has an amazing voice. It was an overall evening of laughter and excitement to have found something so awesome to be obsessed with. I got Davy to sign the coffee table book I had bought a year ago, and I bought his "This American Life" CD. It's a bunch of segments that he had done while working on that show with Ira Glass.

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving, so Scampy and I are packing up and hitting the road to Montgomery tonight. My brother is already home. He flew in Monday night and my folks brought him by the office to see me. I left early to meet them for an early dinner, and then they went on home. I cannot wait to follow suit. I need some R&R.

Teddy R and the Funky Bunch

2005-11-07T11:13:00.000-06:00

If you're anything like me, you're not a huge fan of history. Well, let me be more specific. I LOVE history-- lots of cool shit went down, lots of awesome stories, lots of great characters, and an ass load of lessons learned. As an English major, I have to love that. What I hate, though, is history class. I could never understand how they expected me to write an original paper on things that happened and are set in stone. How many new twists can one make on a set of facts? In my mind, that's like holding up a cat and asking me to find hidden meanings in, "This cat is meowing." Maybe they wanted me to find similarities in the old and new, which in that case, they should have explained that to me. I might have done better in Euro Civ I.

Anywho, moving a long. I know America is still a young country in comparison, and often times it frightens me to think of the distant future. Like, any day, poof!--Holocaust Americano. But I love our history, however short it may be, and I love the people who helped shape our country. Sometimes, and please don't let this get around, I like to read the consitution. Yes, it's an old hobby of mine that I've been dabbling in since about, oh, 12:30pm. It's fun to see where we goofed up and fixed things at a later date. I also like the Declaration of Independence now, thanks to a clever poster given to me by an advertising company. Go to the link associated with this entry's title and explore all the awesome historical documents, including Elvis's letter to President Nixon.

My mom sent me an email today that really motivated me to like studying history for a change, so I thought I would share it with all of you:

"In the first place we should insist that if the immigrant who comes here in good faith becomes an American and assimilates himself to us, he shall be treated on an exact equality with everyone else, for it is an outrage to discriminate against any such man because of creed, or birthplace, or origin. But this is predicated upon the man's becoming in very fact an American, and nothing but an American...There can be no divided allegiance here. Any man who says he is an American, but something else also, isn't an American at all. We have room for but one flag, the American flag, and this excludes the red flag, which symbolizes all wars against liberty and civilization, just as much as it excludes any foreign flag of a nation to which we are hostile...We have room for but one language here, and that is the English language...and we have room for but one sole loyalty and that is a loyalty to the American people."

-- Theodore Roosevelt, 1907

Sometimes I forget that this country is based on oppression-- people fleeing their homeland to come here and be free. We do NOT have a national language or religion. That's a simple fact that a lot of us forget from time to time. I do find it ironic that a country founded on freedom created its own oppression through slavery, and that the Native Americans were wiped out for being "different." It saddens me to know that our forefathers said that all men are created equal, but were only thinking of white men. But, I believe in the principles they were trying to uphold, and I thank them for creating a constitution that could be amended as the times changed.

A lot of us get tired of all the people who do not understand English. I am one of them. Sometimes we think that they should all speak English if they are going to live here, but it's technically not a requirement. However, I think Teddy was on to something. I believe in bringing in people from other countries so that they can have a better life, but if they are going to come here with intent on staying forever, they need to appreciate the opportunity and show respect for that by striving to become a citizen of this country.

I think it's nice that we have language options on so many things now, because it helps them transition into English-speaking mode. However, my fear is that some nationalities have grown too reliant on this and are not taking steps to learn English. Are we helping or hindering them by making it easy? After all, American college students spend semesters in Spain or France or wherever in order to immerse themselves in the culture and force themselves to speak a new language. It cultivates you-- makes you smarter. And who can't use some more smarts, hmm?

So give us your poor, your tired, your hungry, but let them know this. You don't have to change religion to come here, and you don't have to speak English. But if you want to thrive in this country and show respect for it, you better at least learn some helpful catch phrases.

Wash. Rinse. Repeat.

2005-11-01T16:52:00.000-06:00

Remember my entry entitled "Rootin' Tootin' Good Time"? Well, come January 2006, I will once again be headed to Ft. Worth for inventory. We just got our assignments today. w00t. I had spoken to head of inventory and requested to go back there, but I kind of wish I hadn't. Don't get me wrong-- it will be fun. But I'm the kind of girl that likes to see how things pan out naturally. Would I have gotten assigned there again if I hadn't said anything? Probably, because I think they may have asked for me again, but you never know. And now that I am not single, I can't have as rootin' a good time as last time. Maybe I'll just stay in and watch hotel room porn.

I'm really looking forward to the next few generations of old people. It seems like today's elderly still all have old names, like Betty and Clara and Winston. Can you imagine the next go around? It'll be a lot more Lindas and Davids. But in two more generations, we'll have old ladies with the names Britney and Brie and Courtney. I just can't imagine it. Note to self: name your daughter and son something tired and true, like John and Sarah. Or, go the opposite route and name them something like Shaquila and Franz.

Adam and I had a date on Friday. It had been awhile since we've done the whole going out for a nice dinner thing. We were aiming for Flat Rock Grille, but the parking at Patton Creek was so bad that we had to park all the way over by Firebird Grill. So, we ate there instead. Great steak and wine. Afterwards, we had no clue what to do. We didn't want to go to a movie, and we didn't want to go to a bar, so what else is there to do that didn't involve consuming food or liquids? So, we went back to my place and watched Fright Night. Yay!

The next morning I was up and scrambling. Yes, it was another Scramble. It turned out well, I think, but I am not as fond of this one as "Quest for the Orb." Although we did reach new heights on this one. We have gone from animation to animation with a live-action segment, and have ended up with live-action IN the animation. How can we top this one? Gee! I, myself, was scrambling to finish the backgrounds before getting ready for the party. Egads! I managed.

The Halloween party on Saturday was fantastical! I drank a bit too much, thanks to the Yuengling keg, but we all had such a great time! I'll post some pics soon. Adam went as a Ghostbuster, Buns as Mrs. Robinson, Mike as, well, some sort of militant Denny's worker, and I went as the Queen of Spiders. There were some other great costumes, too, such as Velma, Phantom of the Opera, Church Lady, etc. I rode the coaster about 15 times, most of that in a row. It's addictive. The news crew from ABC came out for a bit, but I think that was only because CBS and FOX had already come out. They hated to be the last in the know, I guess. Afterwards, we went to Buns' place and played with her new cat, Magda, and drank tea and hot chocolate while listening to Sam Cooke and Elton John.

Sunday started sunny, but with a big chance of hangover. Good thing I didn't have to be anywhere, because I could not figure out which clock had set itself automatically for DST. I had the worst headache ever-- so bad that I could not sleep! WTF?!? So I watched some of Shrek 2 and then called Sam to see what was going on with the Scramble. I took it very slow that day for sure, ending it on a Mexican note. Yay for burritos, my saving grace, and also my impending doom.

I hope you all had a good Halloween. The only thing I did on the actual holiday was go over to Adam's and watch Monday Night RAW. Go HBK! Oh, and I whooped his ass at foosball. I am now a force to be reckoned with. Did anyone watch the FOX news that night? I missed the broadcast about the ride and the party. :( I suck.

Happy Halloween!

2005-10-31T16:45:00.000-06:00

Spooky Party Time

2005-10-28T15:47:00.000-05:00

Okay, imagine you heard a woman refer to another woman and say, "Oh, I know her. I used to make music with her." Now, assume that you already knew that both were musical people and did, indeed, create new music from time to time. The above sentence would make absolute sense and there is no cause for any doubt of its validity.

But what if the person speaking was a lesbian? "Hee hee hee, she used to 'make music with her.' Hee hee."

Today is one of those days where my boss gives us a Friday deadline to have all this stuff done. I am usually still working on it at 4pm the day it's due. However, I asked my boss yesterday, "How would you liked to be shocked?" He chuckled and said, "Sure." I handed him my paperwork and said, "I am done." He really was shocked, but he told me how much he appreciated it. I know it looked like brown-nosing, but I swear I was doing it for the shock value. I swear!

I added a few more links to the right. Go ahead-- pet the hamster. Take hold of the potted plant. See where they take you....

Apparently, I am scrambling this weekend after all. The deadline for signing up was yesterday at 5pm, and at 3pm I see my name on the team roster. Two of my coworkers are also scrambling, so there has been some healthy trash talk going down the hall. We're ready for competition, baby.

Unfortunately, this weekend is already booked solid for me. I have a date with Adam tonight, and it's the first big one we've had in awhile. Plus, the big Halloween party I have been helping with is tomorrow. Looks like I will be scrambling during my off time. Have I mentioned the Halloween party yet? Oh, I did! Remember the turkey bacon entry? Yup, scroll on down some. You'll find it. Anywho, the weekend is here, and the ride is cooler than I could ever describe. We've all worked so hard on it, and it shows. I can't believe people that I know have put together such an amazing, advanced party. If you want to come to an awesome party, let me know! I have extra invites!

I have been over at the warehouse working on it a lot this week, and we have had some good times. Last night in particular was so much fun, I stayed way later than I should have. Everyone was there, having a jolly good time with glow-in-the-dark paint, rebar, animatronics, sound effects, beer, etc. It was like a sitcom or something. We all took turns riding, everyone riding with everyone eventually. We are all so excited about the party, and spirits were running high. Or should I say circling. All I can say is don't look up, or else...! Mwa ha ha!

Cheatoween!

2005-10-26T12:55:00.000-05:00

Check it out! I made my very on Cheat-O-Lantern!

Glowey McGlowerton!

Natty Woohoo's Day Off

2005-10-22T11:45:00.000-05:00

You know the song "Simply irresistible" by Robert Palmer? Well, I think more songs could benefit from the sounds of clanking swords. Next time you hear that song, count the clinks you hear. They're awesome.

Yet another 2-3 weeks have gone by and I have not updated. A lot has happened. The weekend of the 7-9 was not much of a weekend at all. I mean, it was relaxing in that I did a lot of lounging around, but with the weather turning cooler and the sky getting a bit darker, it seemed like I hardly did anything all weekend. And yet I did! I met Adam's son for the first time and we went to the zoo. He is a pretty cool kid. We had fun together. My friends G&D (Garrett & Danitza) finally got married last Sunday (9th). The ceremony was quick, but beautiful, and the music was provided by yours truly. And it was great. Really. My parents came up for it, too, so they got to meet Adam for the first time. (A lot of introductions that weekend, apparently.) I think my parents liked him enough, and I know he liked them, so yay!

That night, after the folks left, I looked at Adam and said, "You know, this weekend felt so weird, like I didn't have one. The weather is messing with my head or something." So we came up with a great idea-- play hooky on Monday! Ferris Bueller had nothing on us. Sure, he got to pose as the sausage king of Chicago. Okay, so he got to drive a Ferrari around and visit museums and whatnot. But tell me this, my friend. Did he kick the computer's ass at Marvel vs. Capcom? Did he win enough tickets to buy two lollipops? How about watching The Corpse Bride for free? Did Ferris eat Greek food at Nabeel's or have apple crumble pastries from Klingler's Bakery? Did he get to play air hockey? Or Galaga? Yeah, I didn't think so. And I even bet Mr. Bueller wishes he could have driven around town in a Jeep Wrangler, sans top, in lieu of his hotrod.

We also saw The Corpse Bride while "sick." It was great, by the way, and may have inspired a kickin Halloween costume. During the previews there was a Coke commercial where a musician is singing the old Coke classic, "I'd like to buy the world a Coooooke...." It took me about 5 seconds to identify said musician-- G Love! He did it very well, but I am not sure how I feel about G Love being a corporate entity. It was so serious, like he was really feeling the Coke vibe. He should have been goofing off and throwing Cokes at people's head, or trying to put his hands up a model's blouse.

Did I mention I quit Dave's Pizza? It was just my time. I only worked one night a week, and with the holidays coming up, I would have to take off a lot of those nights. I thought I would miss it, but I feel so friggin' free right now. Yeehaw! This past weekend, I had a dream that my boss called me and said, "Since you're not one of my employees anymore, I'd really like to take you out." I looked at him and odd and replied, "Were you not there for that whole conversation we had last week about my boyfriend?" Heh.

The weekend of the 14-16 must not have been that great, because I don't remember much. Oh wait, yes I do. Hang on. My folks went to Memphis to look at a plane for my dad (which he is going to buy). On their way back through, they met Adam and I at Wings for a sinful dinner. Mmm...cheese fries. Adam really likes my folks. :) That day, we saw Waiting. That movie is so hysterical. Seriously-- go see it right now.
What else...what else.... Um, we contemplated Halloween costumes, went to Sloss Fright Furnaces, saw a Bon Jovi tribute band called Slippery When Wet (awesome!), and went to a BBQ at the newlyweds' house. So it was a pretty nice weekend.

Which brings us to the present: the 21-23. Last night (Friday), I took my coworker Katherine out for some restaurant/bar hopping. We started at Sol Y Luna with house margaritas and crabmeat empanadas, then went to Canteen for yummy salads and martinis. After that, we drove by the Bar Hands Gallery to see Miss Ashley working at new art show opening. I just don't get modern art. Paintings will always be appreciated, but these were decorated brooms, performance art, and weird shit like that. We only stayed a bit before leaving for the Garage. People watching ahoy! And boy did we see some interesting folks. Yes, I am talking about you, you balding mathematician with the ponytail in back and your dangling pirate earring. He was actually a pretty cool dude. We talked about the Pythagorean Theorem, Shakespeare, and Greek gods.

On today's agenda: Lunch at 1pm, pumpkin shopping and carving at around 3 or 4, and then Chuck E. Cheese for dinner. Yes, we're taking the kid with us. Apparently we need him to even get into Chuck's. Those friggin' Communists.

ATTENTION! ACHTUNG!

2005-10-06T14:53:00.000-05:00

If you have had sex with me in the past 6 months, I urge you to get tested ASAP. I found out this past weekend that I have Herpes. Seek medical attention right now.

Ha, just kidding. Had you going for a second there, didn't I? How many of you are wiping away beads of sweat right now and sighing with relief? Well, it should be none of you, so if you are, then you should tell me something, like about that night I was passed out and you took advantage of me.

Oh man, beer = crazy ass dreams.

Click on Crazy Dog for more of his hijinks.

Obsessed with:
The Blower's Daughter
(Damien Rice)

And so it is
just like you said it would be.
Life goes easy on me
most of the time.
And so it is
the shorter story,
no love no glory,
no hero in her skies.
I can't take my eyes off of you.

And so it is
just like you said it should be.
We'll both forget the breeze
most of the time.
And so it is
the colder water,
the blower's daughter,
the pupil in denial.
I can't take my eyes off of you.

Did I say that I loathe you?
Did I say that I want to
leave it all behind?

I can't take my mind off of you.
My mind...
'Til I find somebody new.

It wasn't the dolphins' first hotel visit.
The three marine mammals were taken to a swimming pool at the local Best Western, where hotel guests enjoyed watching them before the storm arrived yesterday.

Twisted Priorities
An 18-year-old...decided to take matters into his own hands and stole an abandoned city school bus and drove storm victims to Texas, according to a CNN report.
The teen driver, Jabbar Gibson, 18, said he had never driven a bus before but wanted to save people.
"If it wasn't for him, we'd still be in New Orleans on the Gulf," bus passenger Randy Nathan said. "He got the bus for us."
Authorities allowed the renegade passengers inside the Astrodome but Gibson could find himself in trouble after taking the school bus.

Love
It's weird being off the dating market. It's unchartered territory. It's change. And as Garth put it so eloquently in Wayne's World, "We fear change!" Sometimes I think of how it all started; it happened over cheap beer and a 311 concert. I know what you're thinking-- how romantic! But it really was nice. And it still is. Now that we've gotten over our first bad spell, courtesy of another panic attack from yours truly, I know that it's real. I also realized that I have a boyfriend who will be there for me, and will leave me roses in my kitchen so that I see them during my lunch break. Maybe change isn't such a bad thing afterall.

Does a Body Good

2005-10-06T09:37:00.000-05:00

Can you guess who this is?

Man, that's Hanson! Remember those little "Mmm-Bop" kids? They have definitely been drinking their milk! Meeeeow!

People just don't appreciate a good quote anymore. Read up on your MST3K people!

The secret to enjoying your time at an airport is having an mp3 player with the following songs on it:

Led Zepplin's "The Immigrant Song"
The Who's "Baba O'Riley"
Queen's "I Want to Break Free"

Trust me. It is hard not to walk through the terminals with a smile on your face when you're listening to those songs. It also puts people's movements in a whole new light, creating stories for everyone you see. I notice a lot more visually when I walk to my own soundtrack.

In general, I think everyone should walk with an mp3 player. Sure, you might get hit by more buses because you couldn't hear the screams of warning, but who cares?

Life is better with a soundtrack!

In fact, tell me in the comments below what you're theme song is. Do you have one? Maybe it sums up who you are, or maybe it's the song you sing to yourself as you walk down the street. I'll go first!

Honda unveils vehicle designed for dogs!

2005-10-05T14:59:00.000-05:00

"A special crate for dogs in the glove apartment allows owners to interact with their pets while driving."

Because being a distracted driver is always a good idea. Hey, here's another gem-- TV's up front for the driver to watch! What? They already have those? Oh, nevermind.

Stouche Wins Again

2005-10-04T13:59:00.000-05:00

A bunch has been happening that I need to catch you up on. When I went home last, last weekend (16-18), my mom and I watched a lot of AMC movies, like Risky Business and The Breakfast Club. I heard two or three Talking Heads songs that I had never noticed. I think it was "Psycho Killer," "Take Me to the River," and "Swamp." I think that's swell.

Last weekend, as in the 23-25, was the Sidewalk Film Festival, and as you all know, I had a VIP pass. On Thursday night, they kicked things off with an opening reception at the Birmingham Museum of Art. I didn't think I would be staying too long since I was going by myself, but I ran into some Scramble acquaintances. And the beer was free. That tends to extend any stay, even if you're alone and talking to a wall. I left after an hour and a half of mingling and joined Adam at The U where The Code Fifty was playing. We feasted on Dill Havarti Shrimp and Crab Meat Pizzas, and I continued my trip down Hoegaarden lane. I opted not to go to the kickoff movie, My Big Fat Independent Movie. It sounds funny, but I was tired and had a long weekend ahead of me.

Friday night comes quickly and it's Opening Night of the festival. Americano is the movie of the night, starring Joshua Jackson, Leanor Varela, and Dennis Hopper. Summary: Three friends explore the festivals of Pomplona, Spain before going back to America and beginning their careers. Add a dash of small-town charm, finding one's self in the countryside, and Hemingway. Since we ranked every movie or short seen over the weekend, I gave this one a 9 out of 10. The after party is at Los Angeles (appropriate, no?) and it's not too shabby. Free keg beer and a lot of atmosphere. The cast and crew were scheduled to appear for the screening, but their flights were rerouted due to Hurricane Rita and they were MIA. The director and producer did make it, and partied with us all weekend.

On Saturday, Adam picked me up and we had brunch at The Grill Mill before heading over to the first block of shorts playing that day. We saw a funny one called, "We're the Government and You're Not" that was very amusing. It was like a parody of public service announcements telling us that to be good citizens, we had to pay all of our taxes without complaint and accumulate as much debt as possible. Hardy har har. We also saw The Last Days, in which my friend Jonathan starred as a German soldier in the last days of World War II. Not too shabby. I shed a tear or two. We would have proceeded on to watch some more Alabama Shorts, but as we walked out from the Alabama Power building, Adam's jeep was getting broken into. The guy was tearing his way into the jeep's plastic windows. Adam asked him what the hell he was doing, and the guy looked at him and said, "What?" like it was no big deal. Adam says, "That's my Jeep!" And the guy mumbles something about thinking it was his friend's Jeep. We were so stunned that we just watched him walk away. Adam didn't want to risk him having a gun or knife, and I didn't know what the hell to do. Where are all the police? They were sitting around the corner in a group, laughing and carrying on. Their important job that day was to escort a protest group that wants an end to the war. After being given the run around and flagging down a cop with nothing else to do, we filled out the necessary paperwork and took off in search of coffee and beer.

I am kind of glad we missed that block of films, even though I really wanted to see them. It gave us a nice hour to sit and chill. Plus, I ran into a pal from college-- Babylon John-- and talked him into coming to see my toons. Which he did! The screening was fun and I got to represent with Toxey for the Q&A session. Afterwards, we headed to my place to change for the evening's party and grab some food. Loggerheads was shoeing at the Alabama Theatre-- fantastic film! Make sure you see it, and stick with it no matter what. The after-party was on the 16th floor of an office building in downtown, and the view and tunes were spectacular. It has a nice ambience to it, but Adam didn't know anyone and I wasn't too thrilled to be faking enthusiasm either. We stayed for about two hours, though, because the beer was free! Belgium beers dominated the selection once again.

The next morning I signed Adam and I up for an hour and a half slot to practice shooting scenes with awesome cameras and actual film (not video). It took forever to even get to use it, but we learned a lot. If it was a smaller group, I would have recommended it to anyone. As it was, 20 people hoping for a chance to be the director of photography is not that appealing when you are melting outside. We did see some good movies later, though. Reel Paradise and The Baxter are both recommended by my peeps and me. Check em out. Also, be sure to check out Novem. I know you will love it.

I wanted to go to the award's show that night, but I was tired and cranky so I opted for sleep. Bad move. Not only did I miss the chance to meet John C. Reilly, Mr. Cellophane himself, but our cartoon, "Quest for the Orb," won Best Animated Short for the festival. And another $500! Argh, I missed it! Still, I think that's pretty sweet.

Alright, I better go ahead and post this so I can move on to the part about the hickey. Cheers!

The Turkey Bacon of the Blog World

2005-09-22T16:51:00.000-05:00

I got a new bra! One may not think that this is a big deal, but my boobs are finally where they should be-- perky and at attention. And the best part is that my back doesn't hurt as bad anymore.

I have been making a lot of new sayings this week. The first one had to do with substitutions and how some things are not as good as the originals. For example, a cubic zirconia is not as great as a real diamond. You might say that a cubic zirconia is the turkey bacon of the diamond world. Fill in the blank with your own word, and see how much fun you can have. I'll give a few more examples to kick start your wisdom:

Diet Coke is the turkey bacon of the coke world.
Simply Fashions is the turkey bacon of the clothes world. (But they're accessories rock!)
Turkey bacon is the turkey bacon of the bacon world.

The other saying is a spin off an old favorite. "She may think I need to get my ducks in a row," is now "She may think my ducks are diagonal." I know, I know-- it's awesome. Spread the word.

Guess what I got to do Tuesday night? Weld! I was a welder! My friend David bought the haunted house ride from Miracle Strip Amusement Park in PCB, FL. He has set it up in a building next door to my office (which used to be our office). It's downstairs in this huge space, and upstairs is Mark's swank modern loft, Very cool. Anywho, Mark is hosting a Halloween party, and to get to it, you have to go on the ride which drops you off by the stairs. Ha! I helped David with some track laying on Tuesday, and he showed me how to weld. I sucked at first, but made a few decent melts towards the end. I love it! I will also be helping with scenery and props. This should be fun!

This weekend is the Sidewalk Film Festival-- finally! I have a VIP/filmmaker's pass, so I get to go to EVERYTHING for free. Yeehaw! I also get to go to the filmmaker's reception tonight at the Birmingham Museum of Art and all of the after-parties. I = stoked. Quest for the Orb shows at 4:30 pm on Saturday at the Museum of Art, as does The Epiphany. If you're going, stop by and laugh your ass off as you watch the best of the Scrambles! Testosterino, anyone? I think so!

Today I opened a savings account with ING. It returns a yield of 3% and I got $25 just for opening it. Through it, I can have money transferred monthly into it from my checking account, so I can start saving for the future without having to be actively responsible.

Be sure to wish my mom and brother-in-law a belated birthday. They were on the 15th and 16th, respectively.

I got offered a job, but turned it down. It would have been the same thing but with less work, but not the same money. Plus, who wants to move horizontal? Vertical is the way to go, preferably up. Plus, if I leave my current company, it better be for something I want to do, like photography, writing, or photographing someone's writings.

Goosh the Stouche!

Disney Extravaganza

2005-09-12T15:56:00.000-05:00

Happy One Week After Labor Day Day, everybody! I hope you all got some much needed R&R! I know I did. I went down to exciting Orlando for some House of Mouse vacation fun. Jenn works for BASS, and since Disney is the great-grandparent company, we got into all the parks for free. And we got discounts on all goodies. Yippee! I have a bunch of pictures up on Flickr that are probably popping up on the badge to the right.

The parks were not as crowded as I had imagined they would be for a holiday weekend. Maybe the rain is what scared them all away. Yes, Jenn and I were soaked for 65% of our time at the parks, but it's okay. After awhile, you don't care that it looks like your lactating just because you forgot to zip your rain jacket. And who really needed to see all of the light parade, anyway? I got to see Flora, Fauna, and Merriweather, and that is what counts, right?

I think Animal Kingdom was my favorite, and not just because we were dry the whole time. I love all the animals, and Jenn and I learned so much from talking to the lady at the Conservation Center. She had helped raise the baby elephants and was telling us how different the boy and girl had been as babies. It was all very interesting.

Epcot was also fun, but I didn't know that Canada was next door to England, and across the water from Mexico. Hardy har har. I did like that all of the employees in each country were actually from that country. The Norwegians were fun!

Jenn, Emily, and I hit Downtown Disney the night before I left, and while it was pretty and neat, it was cheesy and boring. If it had been done right, it could have been a cool street party. It was mainly a bunch of tourists and punk kids hanging around. But still, we had a fun time watching the "break dancing" circle that errupted. Earlier that night, we had dinner at Cafe Tu Tu Tango which is an experience in itself. You walk into the waiting area and are met by artists hanging around and painting. As you walk to your table, you pass a small stage with an act performing in front of a bunch of couches and comfy chairs, right next to the bar. The food is served in tapa form, so you can order 2-3 different dishes and enjoy many flavors. Also, they had 3-5 kitchens for cooking it all. It was great eating.

I really enjoyed the time Jenn and I spent in Celebration. We ate at a Spanish restaurant called Columbia which was like heaven to me. Sangria, Mojitos, and Gazpacho-- oh my! She also took me to the Winter Park area that had some great jewelry shops and so many squirrels running around.

All in all, it was a great Labor Day weekend for me. But it wasn't over when I got off the plane in Birmingham. Oh no, my friend. That night was when they rescheduled the 311 concert. Booya! By the way, Nick Hexum is a hottie. I love him with the brown hair.

And not to sound like an old lady, but before Papa Roach started playing, Adam and I had to scrounge up some ear plugs. Remember kids: Third row seats may be awesome, but nobody likes a self-inflicted deaf 25-year-old. Papa Roach was actually pretty good, too. I wish I could post some video clips on here.

That night was also special for other reasons, but I won't go into it here. Let's just say that someone may be in looooove....

Brontosaurus Ribs

2005-08-31T16:57:00.000-05:00

First of all, a message to Hurricane Katrina--> You suck. But your lightning rocked.
Seriously, it was like War of the Worlds or something. I was trying to go to sleep to the sound of the crape myrtle beating its head against my window when I noticed the faint light of...fireworks? No, it can't be. I repositioned myself for a better view, only to discover that the fireworks were actually lightning. The colors ranged from aqua to turquoise and a few other non-blue colors, but it was all above the swiftly swirling cloud canopy. No lightning bolts ever came down. It was bizarre, but so beautiful. Wish I had my camera handy.

I had a pretty great weekend. On Friday, my sister came up to go to the Sidewalk Sneak with Adam and I. It was the first time he ever met any of my family. They seem to get along well. The sneak peek movies were overall really good. If you're thinking of going to the festival, allow me to suggest a few gems: "The Act," "Joyride," "Nobody's Perfect," "Spamku," and of course, "Quest for the Orb."

After the show, we ate at Surin and, after a brief mentioning of karaoke, decided to go bowling instead. My sister, who hasn't bowled in years, whooped us all with a 148 in the first game. Adam and I managed to overpower her in game two, though. Our lane neighbors, identified as Ed and Duke, were either very drunk or just very boisterous. They were rooting for us and handing out high fives. After the two games, we moved on to air hockey, where Adam managed to demolish all hopes of me winning anything that night. Wah.

Saturday morning, after wolfing down Waffle House omelets and saying goodbye to Chris the Sis, I decided to have a productive day. I washed my car, vacuumed the entire inside, and washed the car again for good measure...and to get the last remnants of bird poop. I even wiped down the dashboard with some Armor All wipes. I kept going with the productiveness inside my apartment, but not for long. I opted for some gym time instead. When I arrived back home, I decided to shower and have a leisurely hour or so watching the bonus disc to Phantom of the Opera. Very interesting stuff.

I had planned on going to the Stokin' the Fire BBQ Festival at Sloss with a couple of peeps from the Birmingham Flickr people, but we were disappointed to discover that we would not get to eat any of the award-winning BBQ. We would have to buy some in addition tot he cover charge to get in. I know it was mainly to support Sloss Furnaces, but I can be mighty stingy. I told David that as long as we got some BBQ that night somewhere, I'd be okay with not going to the festival.

Hello Dreamland BBQ! Give me a slab o' ribs, please! Yum yum! After filling our bellies, we took our beer and headed to an apartment party that ended up being a toga party. Yeehaw. I hung there for about an hour or two, then met Adam and Blake at The U. Good drinks being had, we all called it a night at around 1am.

I took it easy on Sunday, but had to go to a bridal shower for Danitza at 2pm. It was actually pretty fun, even though those kinds of things are not my scene. (Coincidentally, the boys all went to Dreamland while their ladies oohed and aahed over gifts.) I didn't leave there until 4:30pm, and then I remembered that I was supposed to hang out with Greg. Dang, how could I get out of it? Greg is this guy who I saw off and on for awhile (he went to City Stages with me). I told him, when I was going crazy, that I couldn't see him at the time. He came back to Dave's one night and told me that he got the job he wanted! I offered to buy him a celebratory beer, then quickly thought it a bad idea. I didn't want to see him in a romantic sense, and I didn't think us close enough to be good pals. I was planning on telling him that when we went out that night, but I ended up telling him beforehand. He understood and was grateful for my honesty, but thought it best we didn't go to dinner. I agreed.

Instead, I went to a last-minute birthday party for David. We had a complete blast! We watched "Dukes of Hazzard," drank Belgian beer, had Death By Chocolate Cake, Butterfinger ice cream, pizza (not in this order, of course), and we told some great mischievous stories. I also got to the workshop he shares with John, the host, and I got see a few pieces from the dark ride he bought in PCB. Remember the haunted house ride at Miracle Strip? Well, he now owns it and is looking to host it somewhere during Halloween. How cool is that?

So that was my fun weekend. The week has also been kind to me. I had my second yearly review and got a 9% raise! He said they were very please with my work over the past year and that they didn't have any complaints. Considering the stress I went through, thinking I would be fired at least once a month over the past year, you can say I was a bit shocked. And yes, a bit teary-eyed. But none were shed! I stayed strong!

YAY! MORE MONEY FOR ME!!!!!!!

Tonight is a BBQ at G&D's where we shall discuss backup plans for their wedding on October 8th. Seeing as the city of New Orleans will be closed for 2-3 months, they will have to find a new place to have it.

I leave tomorrow night to go to Orlando, and when I return, I will have many pictures of me and Goofy and the rest of the Disney crew. Yay! Also, the 311 concert is now Monday night. Good thing I am flying back at noon!

You guys have a great one if I don't post again before I leave!

P.S. John Schneider (“Bo Duke”) is still hot.

Radio Contests Whore

2005-08-25T17:00:00.000-05:00

Want to see how Technology + A Big City + Board Games = You Are The Game Piece? Check out the below links:
Can You See Me Now?
The Go Game

The Sidewalk Film Festival will sponsor a TechWalk, which will feature a game like these two for teams to play. For more info go here.

Cool story about yours truly. First, you must know that I am addicted to calling into radio stations and winning prizes. Well, not really addicted, I am just damn lucky. Anywho....

Yesterday morning, I called the Beaner & Ken show to play "Name That Tune." I was pretty excited because every time I hear them play that game, I think that I could dominate. I have a knack for those things. I made it through on my first attempt and got ready to play (while stuck in 280 morning traffic). The prize up for grabs is 3rd row seats to 311. Yowsa! I'm in!

The theme of the tunes that we had to name was songs from the soundtrack to that "40-year-old Virgin" movie. Dang it! Why didn't I agree when Adam said we should go see it Friday night after dinner? We would only have to give up the strippers. No big sacrifice, right? I was already at a disadvantage.

Before we began, they asked me and my opponent a few questions about ourselves, including if we remember our first time. My response was something like, "...Uh....huh, huh....no...." One of them was shocked because he thought that all girls remembered their first. The other, however, was wise to my meaning. A bit embarrassing, but whatever. They're good seats!

Ken says, "We'll give you a decade hint before each song, as in 70s or 2005." I pipe in, "So...2005 is a decade, eh?" Beaner gave him a hard time about that. I hope they appreciated the wit, as opposed to making it harder for me to win. Strike number two came when he announced the hints. As it turns out, all the songs are from the 60s and 70s. Had it been 80s or 90s, I would have had the tickets in no time.

First song - Smokey Robinson. Second song - someone I have never heard of. Big bummer. The guy I played against was at a loss, too, so neither of us won. But we were to stay on the line for consolation prizes. Eh, a free CD is better than nothing. So the guy comes back on the phone and says, "Hey, we're giving you some tickets anyway." Wow! Even if they are nose-bleed seats, still! How cool! He tells me to call later in the day to confirm it with the receptionist and arrange a pick-up.

I was excited. I call the number after lunch and..."We don't have your name here, ma'am. Try back later...?" So, no tickets. Yet. I write an email to the Beaner & Ken show, and call them back this morning. Both were successful, as they assured me that she had my name this time.

Heather and I go to pick up the tickets during our lunch hour. I am back in my office eating Roly-Poly when I decide to take a good luck at the tickets. I wanted to look online at the seating chart to determine if I need to bring some binoculars to the show. If you want to see where I am sitting, see the red dot in the below seating chart:

Booya! They gave me the friggin' third row tickets anyway! And aisle seats, too! I will never, ever doubt B&K ever again! ROOOOOOOOCK! I am taking Adam and I THINK-- not sure on this one-- that we will have a damn good time. Sweeeet!

The giiirl is back in tooown!

2005-08-22T21:45:00.000-05:00

Thursday night, as I slaved away over hot pizza, I noticed how yellow it was beginning to turn outside. The sun had not even gone down, but inside Dave's Pizza it was strangely dark. It made me think that everyone had Yellow Fever. Ha, we're all going to die! The sunset was very beautiful, and the whole evening was charged with this electric beauty.

Did you know that cats can get worms by having fleas? More precisely, they eat their fleas when scratching and nibbling at the itching, and since fleas carry worms...voila! I found out the hard (and nasty) way that my cat had worms. I guess when you and your cat share communal bathroom space you find out a lot about each other. So Mr. Scamps got taken to the vet Wednesday during my lunch break, but he's back in good form. They gave him a worm shot, a flea pill that kills all fleas off his body, and a month's dosage of Frontline flea protection. Now I just need to get some flea spray for the apartment in case they are still lurking.

I know it has been awhile since I have posted about my personal life. There have been good reasons for that. A lot has been going on, but I felt like I needed to stay quiet for awhile on a few subjects. I will tell you a few things!

I am seeing someone. Remember Adam, who I mentioned briefly in that whiny entry from July? Well, it's him. Who would have thought? I don't think we're BF/GF yet or anything because it's only been a month, but what we have is a good thing so far.

Last weekend (12-14) I went to PCB with Garrett, Danitza, and Adam. You can see some of the pics I took on my Flickr badge (on the right column of my blog). Adam and I took off from work on Friday and made it to PCB by 1pm. After lounging around for a bit, we decided to drive around and check out the local eateries. Coconut shrimp? Yes, please! We were back at the beach house by around 6pm, and I took a power nap. Adam woke me up right before the sun started to set, and we walked across the street to the beach, blankets and cooler in hand, and watched the sunset while we drank cheap wine. I got some great pictures of the water spouts that would form and dissolve as the mini storm blew in. We went to Spinnaker's that night, and to Coyote Ugly. Buth were huge cliches, but we still had fun.

Saturday brought us beach and Corona time, and I even convinced Adam to get in the water with me. Ever since Jaws he's been afraid of the ocean, but it was so clear and calm that, had a shark been around, you would have had time to run/swim. We went out pretty far because the hurricane made the sand bar a bit wider. We could touch the bottom pretty far from shore. (Note: He's afraid of Jaws, I am afraid of E.T. Thus, our new vendetta against Steven Spielberg.) That night we searched high and low for a karaoke bar, and found it tucked inside a giant liquor store. The sound system was awful, and the place reeked of old cigarettes. Yuck. We all went to bed right when we got home. It had been a long day.

The drive back was very nice (as was the drive down). We saw a nice sunset over the Calera area. And I got to be the DJ and navigator. Yay! Good thing, too, because Adam has no sense of direction. :)

This past weekend (19-21) was a good one. On Friday, Adam and I went to dinner, followed by drinks at The U with Blake and his lady friend, MH. Jager-bombs, tequila shots, and martinis-- oh my! MH, as it turns out, wants to be a model, and Blake was clever enough to direct her to me. She will probably be my first female model for my photography potrait series. (Scanning in my male ones now.) We tried to get them to come to The Furnace with us but they declined. The Furnace, by the way, is this new Strip-- er, Gentlemen's Club that has taken 3 years to open. Something about legal issues and red tape? Adam and I met G&D there for some booty lookin'. Compared to Sammie's the other big name club in town, it's much more beautiful and posh. The girls are too, overall. The bodies are great, but a few of their faces were...regular. Yeah, that's it. But let me tell you-- that girl with the awesome curves got a bunch of ones from me that night. She was gorgeous! And I was drunk and told her so. Good job, Nat. Well, after that excursion, it was time to call it a night.

The next morning, my folks came up to bring me the cedar chest my dad made for me. It is beautiful and smells so good! See the pics below:

After they went back home, Katherine picked me up for Swede's big summer beer party. From 5-11 I had a steady intake of good beer and great food, only to be surpassed by the superb people. Swede has a great mix of friends. We all had a blast!

Sunday was a lazy day for me. I finished watching the Colin Firth version of Pride and Prejudice and loved it. I want to reread the book now. I went to do some laundry after the rain stopped and at 4pm, I realized I needed to gear up for the night's main event. WWE SUMMER SLAM! Woooooo! Did anyone else see this pay-per-view gem? It wasn't the best WWE event ever, but it had some great moments. Hulk Hogan beat Shaun Michaels, but The Undertaker lost to Randy Orton, the Legend Killer. Damn him. I kind of wish Chris Jericho had beaten John Cena, but oh well. I was also disappointed by the Chris Hardy vs. Edge fight. They kept saying that because Edge stole Lita from Matt, he ruined his chance at ever having a family. Hello?!? There are plenty of hot women out there. You can procreate with more than one woman, you know! Just ask Kevin Federline.

What else to tell you....ah yes! "Quest for the Orb" made it into the Sidewalk Festival and is showing with the sneak peek this Friday at the Alys Stephens Center. Scroll to the bottom of the Sidewalk page for more info.

"Don't grumble, give a whistle!"

2005-08-10T16:40:00.000-05:00

The hits just keep on coming. My sister AND my brother-in-law both got fired on Monday. The real kicker: they work for the same company, in the same department. I know she used to kid about them being like a Nazi regime, but know I see it's very true! You have to be evil to fire both halves of a young married couple that you were paying jack shit. Anywho, they have been wanting out of there for awhile, so I think this is a blessing in disguise. I think this is God's way of giving them a swift kick in the rear and telling them to get out while they still can.

All of this optimism has had me reminiscing about the olden days of Christian rock (AKA junior high). I used to be really big into Christian music. These days I can't keep up with all the different acts, much like non-Christian music. Pop is, unfortunately, still reigning, despite the turn I expected when The Killers and Franz Ferdinand emerged. I even had high hopes that Bo Bice would make rock popular again, though with Skynard, it might as well be Christian pop, because I'm not listening.

So back to yesteryear. I think Christian pop is a good thing if you're under the age of 18. If you're a Christian and struggling through those awkward years, positive music is a really good crutch to have. It kept me sane for the most part. The bands I really enjoyed most were Newsboys, Third Day, Audio Adrenaline, and All Star United. It's been awhile since I have checked into the latest from all these bands, so I did a little Limewire research this past weekend. I have found an answer to my experiment. I discovered that I still like their music. A lot of them are still as rockin' as ever. So it's not that ALL Christian music sucks these days-- just those new bands that I don't want to give the time of day to.

A good example is Newsboys. Even though they had an album that was entirely comprised of traditional hymns, I still loved it. Why? Because a.) their vocals are absolutely breath-taking at times, and b.) they still rock. They are one of the bands for which I bought most of their early albums. They're so great because they take a message and present it to you through good metaphors. They choose not to be preachy; they opt for pensive. Take the following examples:

Newboys - "Breakfast"

Hold the milk, put back the sugar
They are powerless to console
We've gathered here to sprinkle ashes
from our late friend's cereal bowl.
Breakfast Clubbers, say the motto
that he taught us to repeat:
"You will lose it in your gym class
if you wait `til noon to eat."

Back when the Chess Club said our eggs were soft
every Monday he'd say grace and hold our juice aloft
Oh, none of us knew his checkout time would come so soon
But before his brain stopped waving, he composed this tune:

When the toast is burned
and all the milk has turned
and captain crunch is waving farewell.
When the big one finds you
may this song remind you
that they don't serve breakfast in hell.

Breakfast clubbers, drop the hankies.
Though to some our friend was odd,
that day he bought those pine pajamas
his check was good with God.

Those here without the Lord,
how do you cope?
For this morning we don't mourn
like those who have no hope

Oh, rise up, Fruit Loop lovers -
sing out sweet & low
With spoons held high
we bid our brother, "Cheerio!"

See, now isn't that just jovial? Heee! Here's a few more snippets from my other fave C-Rock bands. Hee hee, crock....

Third Day - "Nothing At All"

'Cause I know that there are times in life
When we just can't keep it to ourselves
but to want is not to make it right
We've got to tame our tongue
If you can't say nothin' good, don't say nothin' at all

All Star United - "Lullaby"

It must be the way that I can hear you say this now.
Don't be afraid
Just know that i'll be with you somehow
And all your cries
Soon they will drown in my lullabies
Just close your eyes
Just close your eyes
.....................................
I'm giving up
Wishing on the falling stars
I'm living up to something new
I've made a vow
It's taken me high
It's taken me far
I'll keep singing your tune
You'll hear it all around

Audio Adrenaline - "Man Of God"

Sometimes I don't feel good
it's hard to start the day
it's hard to climb the obstacles
that sometimes come my way
if I make it, I'm a good man
am I a bad man if I fail?
I know I'm never good enough
so I let grace prevail

But I've never been left alone
in any problem that I've known
even though I'm to blame
there were times when things were dark
and I've been known to miss the mark
but someone fixed my aim.

I'm a cat person, but...

2005-08-05T09:17:00.000-05:00

gangs in the house
Originally uploaded by wongwong.

Look at this adorable picture. It took me awhile to be sure that I found the "real" dog.

The photographer notes:
He was playing a ball, the ball rolled under the shelf, he ran to the back of the shelf where I put all his collections on and he couldn't get the ball out and started to sit there, looked at me to ask for help, that was the moment I saw him sitting behind the collection, just at that momonet, I know I will love him to the end of my life, and beyond...

Got me dreaming sweet things.

2005-08-04T16:56:00.000-05:00

I can't wait till I have time to update you guys on my life, but in the meantime, enjoy this collection of dreams that I have been documenting for about a week now.

1.) Phantom of the Opera - I adore Gerard Butler as the Phantom, so in this dream, he came to me after we'd been apart for a long time. I might have been Christine Daae in this dream-- not sure. The Phantom was on crutches, as if his deformity had spread to his legs. (He was still hot enough to make me want to jump his bones, though.) We were happy. The end.

2.) Vegas. Sort of. - A group of us, including my friend Matt, went to Vegas, but had to park outside the city and walk the rest of the way. Vegas was actually a cul-de-sac in a suburb in the middle of the desert. No Elvis anywhere. It kind of sucked, and carrying luggage throught he searing heat is not fun. It kind of reminded me of the area my old high school boyfriend, Aaron, lived in before he moved away.

3.) Vroom, vroom! - I went to the Honda dealership to look at their selection of motorcycles. After an hour of debating and browsing, I wrote a check and brought home the most awesome bike ever. I loved it. I took someone for a ride and we ended up at a bar. I only had two beers butI felt uncomfortable taking them back since I had some alcohol in me and I was a beginner rider.

4.) Neverland Beach - I went to the beach with Macabee again. It was the most ideal beach ever. The dunes were more craggy, more like beachside rock formations. The water was so clear that you could see ocean life everywhere. In a pool of about 5 feet deep we could see sting rays, friendly sharks, all kinds of fish and urchin, etc. We went over to where a karaoke thing was going on at a beach club nearby and I was called up to do this one haunting ballad about Neverland. Weird, I know. This Neverland existed in this old, dilapidated three story birdhouse thing. You could go into it by thinking yourself there while holding it. Once you went in, the evil mother of the house kept you there forever. Looking out from the house, it appeared that, like a birdhouse, we were high up in the trees. I would sit on this windowsill with a Scampy-like cat and watch dirt bikers go by. The mother thought I was trying to escape, but I said, "Oh no, Kitty and I just love to sit in the sunshine." She seemed to buy it. After spending some time observing house patterns and the surrounding areas, I was sure I could get out of there and get help. If no one believed me where I had been, I would just tell the bikers about the times I saw them tumble and/or pick their nose. Heh. I think I did get out, but then I was unsure if I could do it again. What if I hopped back in to save everyone else but remained there forever? Oh well. Next dream!

5.) Flood 2.0 - This one was quite a doozie and requires its own paragraphs:

The city was futuristic looking, with lots of buildings close together and walkways and bridges running between them at high levels. There was still grass and brick structures, so don't go thinking Dark City or anything like that. It was near an ocean and there was a freak series of small tsunamis washing inland. Experts were saying that a couple of huge ones were coming and that they were on their way. My family and I were scrambling to get to higher ground, like a skyscraper or something. We were on one of the walkways, running with a crowd of people, and we saw the water coming. It wasn't strong enough to reach us, but we knew the other would be behind shortly. My mom is distraught and says, "We'll never make it. If we are going to die anyway, I wish we had just stayed home so we'd at least be comfortable and together." Well, we were together, but we wouldn't be for long because the next wave was coming. It was like standing on the bridge of Splash Waterfall at Six Flags, waiting for the big wave of water to hit you. We were on a similar walkway, watching the water come, knowing we were about to drown. I was scared, and asked my mom if it would hurt for long. She said no, it would only last a few seconds. So we held on to the rail as best we could. Water...a few seconds of panic and breathing water...nothing but black. She was right-- death came pretty quick.

Strangely, even though we were all scared (naturally), the dream did not have a scary vibe. I think it was because we were all together as a family. Shortly after dying, we were in heaven, waiting in line for our physical. That's right-- when you get to heaven they give you a thorough exam to determine where in heaven you'd be a good fit. As I was waiting for the eye exam portion of the physical, my friend Joel appeared. He died in the flood, too, as did most people I knew in town. He was telling me that, even though he was high up in a building, he still drowned too. Guess he wasn't high up enough. But I got to share his vision and see what it looked like where he had tried to hide from the wave. It was an office space, with all the furniture washed out and mildew all around.

6.) Ah! Zombies! - Did I ever mention the dream I had a few weeks ago about the zombie invasion? It took place shortly after the mess from "Dawn of the Dead" was cleaned up (as in, the zombies died off). The government was much wiser to the whole zombie phenomenon, and sometimes people were put under a red alert to be careful of zombies. Everyone had to stay at home when the alerts were active. My family and I decided that, even though we were under alert, it was no reason to waste a beautiful day. My mom and I were doing some yard work and my dad was inside doing something. The streets were eerily quiet, but we were prepared. So, when we saw a truck pull up in our driveway at an awkward angle, our first thought was, "Zombies and/or bitten people." Mom and I got up, ran to the side door, and went inside. I glanced back and saw a few more vehicles pull up. It was people that were running from zombies, but I couldn't tell if they were safe to let in. No matter-- in this day and age, it was every family for itself. So, I let my mom make the decision to close and lock the door on them. My dad was already at his post-- front windows with his gun ready-- and my sister was barricading the back door...after she got the cat inside, of course. Anywho, I should have been slightly scared throughout all this, but I wasn't. My family and I had a solid plan and we were together. Nothing else mattered. We were gonna kick ass and take names.

Rainbows and Lollipops

2005-07-27T16:14:00.000-05:00

Brighter days ahoy! :)

First of all, check out this crazy "article" called, "If World War II Was an RTS." (RTS meaning real-time strategy, like the game "Warcraft.") This is only a snippet of it-- it gets much funnier as it goes on, especially when France gets frustrated and "logs off."

If World War Two had been an online RTS game, the chat room traffic would have gone something like this.

*Hitler[AoE] has joined the game.*
*Eisenhower has joined the game.*
*paTTon has joined the game.*
*Churchill has joined the game.*
*benny-tow has joined the game.*
*T0J0 has joined the game.*
*Roosevelt has joined the game.*
*Stalin has joined the game.*
*deGaulle has joined the game.*

Roosevelt: hey sup
T0J0: y0
Stalin: hi
Churchill: hi
Hitler[AoE]: cool, i start with panzer tanks!
paTTon: lol more like panzy tanks
T0JO: lol
Roosevelt: o this fockin sucks i got a depression!
benny-tow: haha america sux
Stalin: hey hitler you dont fight me i dont fight u, cool?
Hitler[AoE]; sure whatever
Stalin: cool
deGaulle: **** Hitler rushed some1 help
Hitler[AoE]: lol byebye frenchy

Hee hee, good times indeed.

So, if you recall from my first Scramble post in February, I voiced a creature from the moon who falls for a jar of marmalade. Ain't love grand? Always an obstacle or two.Anywho, Russ sent me the best compliment the other day: "Well, you are special, and there's a jar of marmalade out there for you somewhere." *big smile*

I took some pointless quizes today:

You Are 25 Years Old

25
20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences.

What Age Do You Act?

Your Kissing Purity Score: 14% Pure

For you, it's all kiss and no talk.
You're in a permanent lip lock.

Kissing Purity Test

Stay tuned for my wacky dreams!

Suicide Police and the Closet Cryer

2005-07-25T16:15:00.000-05:00

Without getting the suicide police called on me, can I just say that my week was one of the worse I've ever had? No cause for alarm, but I was not well. At all. But, seeing as I am the Eternal Optimist, I knew it would pass. For the most part, it has. And there was much rejoicing. "Yay."

Most of it was work stuff, but a big part of it was personal. Ever been in love with someone you just couldn't be with for damn good reasons? Russ and I are like a happy Romeo and Juliet. It's all awesome now but we know it will crash and burn in the end. Despite this, I spent the night with him on Thursday because I knew if I was left alone, I wouldn't sleep. I'd be too busy worrying about everything. But let's not go into too much of the bad stuff. I hated life, I got over it (sort of), and the week ended okay with a very happy Friday at work.

Unfortunately: Friday night was not without drama. There's this dude who has been leading me on. He might have been oblivious to it, but through retrospect research, I think he's just accidentally scummy. He invited me out to drink with him and his buddies, and it was going okay at first. However, we didn't have much to say to each other. At first, I thought it was me, but as it turns out, he wasn't talking to me much at all. It's hard to be talkative when you're doing the one-sided conversation thing. Shortly after he did start talking to me, another girl friend of his showed up, and they were immediately attached at the hip. Ouch. BIG ouch.

Fortunately: His friend, Adam, who is a self-proclaimed quiet person, was very talkative and friendly towards me. As it turns out, we hit it off very well, and he and I exchanged numbers before that evening turned too sour. Soon the Jaegerbombs had seeped into my brain and my heart and I ended up becoming a "drunk bathroom cryer." Woohoo. Heather (thank God for her) was the only one who saw it and sent me home in a cab. Everyone else was oblivious to my little crying spell.

When I got home, however, I couldn't stop crying. It went on for over 30 minutes. Very "woe is me." So, I called Russ, because at that drunken point of the evening, he was the only one I thought cared a lick about me. (Translation: He's the only guy who would never do me like that.) I sobbed/rambled incoherently into the phone. My God, how and why did he put up with that? I told him not to come over, that I didn't deserve to have him run to me when I'm upset, but he got in his car that doesn't even work properly and drove across town to be with me. I mean, geez! This guy deserves a medal!

Typing this makes me feel icky for two reasons:
1.) I feel like I am cheating on Russ just by talking to other guys. He and I were friends first and will always be, but I think I might love him. But we can't be together, so...what do I do? If I hang with him 24/7, I'll never be able to walk away from the romance of it. And let's face it-- I've never been a one crush at a time kind of girl. My philosophy has always been, "If we're not boyfriend/girlfriend, we're both free to explore." Would I hate it if we was seeing other people? I don't think so. It would only upset me if he wasn't there for me when I needed him.
2.) I don't mind being vulnerable to certain people, but damn! I am being so lame right now! In fact, I was so perturbed with myself on Wednesday that I slapped myself. That made me twice as lame, so I turned the other cheek...and slapped it, too. Friendly reminder: Don't worry about me. I'm not insane and/or a danger to myself. I think more people should slap themselves. Seriously. Talk about a wakeup call! I pulled it together after that.

Anywho, he and I spent a fun day together, being lazy, watching Troy, and eating at Waffle House. Yum. I had to get ready for the evening, though, so he left at around 6:30pm. I had to pick Macabee up at the airport, meet Russ and the Scramble crew at the McDavid household for a pickle frying party, then go to Helena for Garrett's birthday party. The pickles were yummy, but the party was lame. Only 8 people came, but one of them was Jeff. I hadn't seen him since college, and he knows live in Prattville. It was nice to catch up with him. I'll see him again in October at the wedding, if not sooner.

I left at 2am to go home because I was exhausted. Because I have a lack of will power, however, I let a few text messages from Adam convince me that I needed to meet up with him and his peeps at The Upper Deck. And I thought Marty's was a dive! But they had karaoke, so it was more entertaining. After a night of not drinking (due to there being enough alcohol in my body already from the previous night), I decided to have a Coors or two. After all, one cannot sing in front of rednecks without some anti-inhibition elixir! After my rousing rendition of Madonna's "Express Yourself," I left the task of the singing to the rest of the group. They did some REM, Journey, and more REM. We were a rarity amongst the Conway Twittys and the Fleetwood Macs.

At 6:30am, we're eating Purple Onion and saying, "Oh look-- the sun. Hey! Vulcan Park opens in 30 minutes. Let's go!" That was before I slipped into a momentary coma, so I took my happy ass home. I got to sleep for 5 hours before my mom showed up to spend the night with me. She and I ate a lot of junk food at Wings, saw Wedding Crashers (second time for me), got some Cold Stone Creamery goodness, and then I showed her my short films. She actually liked them a lot!

When I came home for lunch, she had just finished cleaning my apartment. Does my mom rock or what? The place looks spotless! I couldn't believe it was the same place! Thanks Mom!

So, it's Monday now, and I am feeling pretty good about work and life right now. We'll see how long it lasts. As my mom likes to say, "Chin up, little buckaroo!"

You may be right
I may be crazy
But it just may be a lunatic you're looking for
Turn out the light
Don't try to save me
You may be wrong for all I know
But you may be right.
-- Billy Joel

She said she's still searching
For salvation's light
She said she wishes all day
And she prays all night
She said she won't speak of love
Because love she's never known
She said it's moments like these
She hates to be alone
-- Collective Soul

Just call my name you'll be ok
Your scream is burning through my veins
Sooner or later your gonna hate it go ahead and
Throw your life away
Driving me under leaving me
Out there go ahead and
Throw your life away.
-- Breaking Benjamin

I need a sign to let me know you’re here.
All of these lines are being crossed over the atmosphere.
I need to know that things are gonna look up,
‘Cause I feel us drowning in a sea spilled from a cup.
-- Train

View From the Top

2005-07-19T10:44:00.000-05:00

And the award goes to...

JULY 2005 SCRAMBLE AWARDS

BEST IN SHOW
FLYING McDAVID BROS.
“Quest for the Orb”

BEST USE OF INSPIRATION ITEMS
FLYING McDAVID BROS.
“Quest for the Orb”

AUDIENCE CHOICE
FLYING McDAVID BROS.
“Quest for the Orb”

Special Jury Awards...

BEST DIRECTING
TEAM SOPPY SUIT?
“Brax to the Max”

BEST EDITING
TEAM BLOODJET!
“Chlorofun”

BEST CINEMATOGRAPHY
INSOMNIACTIVE
“Två Rörmontör och Fyra Het Hyndan”

BEST ACTING
THE STICKMEN
“Drive”

BEST USE OF THE WORD “STOUCHE”
FLYING McDAVID BROS.
“Quest for the Orb”

So yeah, the cartoon team did pretty good! The screening was surreal. We got the Stouche award first and thought, "Oh sure, they just feel sorry for us that we didn't win any real awards." But then we got the Inspiration Item award, and it just kept going from there. Shazam! Being on stage was unreal. I wanted to remember it forever...so I took a picture. Say cheese!

Of all my friends I told about it, only Mac and Dave came. Mac stayed till the bitter end, so she's a real trooper. After the screening, we got some food and headed over the after party at Rojo. It was more of a function than a party, so we didn't stay long. I talked to Tom and Tracy, whose teams also made the top 15, and talked briefly with the guy who won for Best Acting (odd that they didn't credit him with his name).

Still on cloud nine, and not believing we won all that. Two awards were worth $750 total, and the Inspiration Item award was two days of using an online professional editing suite, worth over $1000. Not bad, but do we need it for a cartoon?

Due to the public's call for more (or more accurately, Tom), I have once again blogged the Sidewalk Scramble. Enjoy.

Friday:
6:00 pm - I'm sitting with team #2, Chainsaw Fun Factory, and wondering why I seem to be the only one from team #1 (Flying McDavid Bros.) that is at the kick-off.
6:30 pm - Russ (CFF) is on the phone with Sam (FMB), wondering why he isn't there yet. He also thought it was at 7. I am forced to represent our team and turn in our donation to the inspiration item stew. My item? A tampon. Hey-- it was all I had in my purse that I could part with.
6:45 pm - We learn what the requirements are for this go around. Everyone must use a body of water (lake, puddle, etc.), a sunset or sunrise, and the donated inspiration item that we draw at random. We also drew to see which genre (comedy, drama, etc.) and style (sitcom, teen angst, etc.) to incorporate.
~ Team #1 (FMB): Genre - action/adventure; Style - fantasy; Item - John Stockton Bobblehead Doll
~ Team #2 (CFF): Genre - buddy film; Style - film noir; Item - Prescription Pill Bottle
This is going to be mighty interesting.
7:00 pm - CFF is still waiting to get their items, so I go with Sam since he's by himself for the moment. But really, with Sam, it's like a one-man army. Set him loose in his apartment for an hour and let his stream of consciousness come out undisturbed. Boom! Our cartoon has a story. He hands me my first assignment-- make a costume for John Stockton. I head to Hobby Lobby and, for only $5.13, I make the greatest alchemist costume ever.
8:00 pm - I have coffee duty. Even though each team gets a free refillable coffee “thermos” from Starbucks, we didn't get one. I head to O'Henry's, where I buy two kinds of coffee and Josh rings up my purchases. Josh participated in the first ever Scramble, so he knows what I'm about to embark upon.
8:30 pm - I head over to Sam's to see what's going down. The basic script is written down, and I get my first background assignments. These include three different shots of a tavern-- far away, up close, and inside. I then call Russ to check in with the boys of CFF. They are done with their plot and characters, but their dialogue is their greatest weapon. (They don't write it until it's time to shoot the scene, and that's why it pays to have all improv pros and writers as your actors.)
10:00 pm - *ring ring*
SAM: "Hey, we need you to come over and shoot some scenes."
ME: "You mean, um, wait. Do you mean actual scenes?"
SAM: "Yeah, we're going to have a bit of live action in the cartoon. Where something you don't mind getting dirty. And maybe something shiny."
ME: "Oh snap. Okay!"
11:00 pm - In front of a camera, with my ugly blond wig on, I run to the protagonist and he fake punches me. I fall down, into wet grass, rocks, and ant beds. This is a very promising film already.
12:00 am - For the second time in a month, I (or someone with me) have to call the police. Amanda (Sam's lady) and I went with Robert #2 to shoot a news scene with the city of Birmingham behind us. At the foot of Vulcan, Amanda and I scout for the best spot to do it, with our blond wigs still on. I guess we looked like a couple of hookers or something, because I notice this white car drive by us three times. As Robert catches up to us, the white car has parked and the two guys in it are out of the car and following us down the street. The three of us walk faster and reach the apartments up ahead, certain we are about to be robbed and/or shot, possibly worse. Fear not-- I had a game plan. I knew those apartments go all the way down the hill to 16th Ave, so there were many ways to get away from these guys. Luckily, further excessive dodging was not necessary. Robert called Sam and he came to the rescue. However, there was one problem: the guys were waiting for us to return back to the car. We drove down the street some so we could watch them from afar. Robert was worried about them breaking into the car, and I was worried about them taking my purse. So we called the cops. Those guys skulked around the area for ages while we waited on the cops to come. I knew I was safe, but in my mind I am thinking of terrible things. They thought two girls were alone, so are they scouting the nearby woods for places to hide? Places to take Amanda and I for scary purposes? Shit, this could have been serious! Finally, they get in their car and leave, just before the cop shows up. He goes with us to the area, but doesn't even wait until we're safely back in the car. Thanks a lot, dude. So back home we go to safety, and with that we are done shooting film for the evening. Back to the quiet, safe solitude of animating.
1:00 am - Doing more backgrounds, but feeling a bit paranoid. I call Russ because, despite telling Johnny I'm okay, I'm really not. That was a scary situation! I'm not traumatized or anything, but going from that to working buy yourself late at night is not a smooth transition. Anywho, he's not home from doing night scenes yet, so I leave a message.
1:30 am - Russ calls and says they're done for the evening. I tell him about the evening and as it turns out, they too had some "stalkers," except his were drunk crackers wanting to know what was going on. So far, this Scramble is very eventful. He tells me to be over there for shooting scenes at noonish. Right on.
2:30 am - Not even sure what happened after this. I think we all went to bed.

Saturday:
10:00 am - Wake up, get dame-ified, and head over to Russ's place of work, which is serving as a makeshift HQ.
1:00 pm - The boys brainstorm about the upcoming outside creek scene. I listen in and find out they won't need me for this one at all.
4:00 pm - I've just finished eating Arby's and watching The Grace Kelly Story on the Oxygen channel. Indeed, it's been a busy day for me. The boys return just in time to see the Prince and Grace get married. Ahhh.
5:00 pm - Yay! I'm needed! We head over to the Altamont School and use their awesome cafeteria, modeled like a 50s diner, for my scenes. In the story, I was kidnapped, so I get to be tied up for one scene. Kinky? Not really-- I've got a fish in my purse, which I get to use as a weapon shortly after.
6:00 pm - The office scenes are shot. As I said before, this is when it pays to have experienced improv actors as your cast. Russ, Russell, and I write a quick, quirky banter that actually has to be cut short. Seriously, we were doing so well, we could have had a whole short just in that one scene. I love comedy! We run through several takes of our lines so Russ can have options when editing later.
6:45 pm - We're done, and the rain is coming in. We pack it up and head back to Russ's apartment.
7:30 pm - Oops! We need a sunset scene, and it's raining! What do we do? Blue screen! Russ has one in his "work" room.
8:00 pm - I'm back at Sam's place and checking in. I head back to my apartment to finish the backgrounds. By this point, Johnny has gone home to Nashville. He's done his part for all the songs, and his allergies are going nuts.
10:00 pm - Done with my current projects, I call Sam to see if he has more. "Come record your lines," he says. Yes sir!
10:45 pm - Crap. Don't you hate it when you're put on the spot to be creative? I'm voicing a potted plant, more like a stick, and have no idea what it should sound like. Which of my experimental voices does Sam go nuts for? My impression of a wide-eyed, 10-year-old boy, who's excited just to be there. I spend years going through puberty and trying to be a real woman, and now I get to be a little stick boy. Awesome!
11:30 pm - Back to my place for more backgrounds. I love my job! I love picking out all the colors and whatnot. Nathan does a good job on drawing some of the backgrounds. He has a much more simpler style of drawing than I do.
1:30 am - Done. Heading back to Sam's to keep him company...and to convince him that the talking poodles he's seeing are not real, no matter how convincing their argument is.
4:00 am - I honestly don't know what all happened in this time frame. I was keeping Sam company and watching everyone else sleep. Some jokes were cracked, some hummus was consumed, but somehow over three hours passed. Sam dismisses me and I go on to bed.

Sunday:
12:00 pm - Overslept a bit, but oh well. I call Sam, and he and Toxey have pulled an all-nighter. Yowsa! But they seem to be still sane and on track, so let's not disturb that. It's a bit dreary today, and there's not much for everyone to do. It's all up to Sam and Toxey to render and bring life to the piece.
3:00 pm - Once again, a large chunk of time has passed. A lot of Pacman and Galaga was played, a lot of morale boosting was given, and then I leave to pick up Russ, who also stayed up all night editing his film. I get the first look at the finished product (after him, of course), and it's pretty damn good. It's witty, it's slapstick, it's nutty. Good job team CFF!
4:00 pm - We were done with the cartoon and...wait a second. Done? The turn-in times are from 5pm - 7pm, and we're done at 4pm? How did this happen? In February, we turn in an incomplete cartoon at the very last minute, and now we're done an hour early? What do we do with ourselves? I get the urge to run around in circles with my hands up in the air, a la E.T. Instead, we settle down and watch the movie. And again. And again. I think I develop a severe hernia from laughing so hard. Shit, this stuff was great.
5:00 pm - Bam! Boom! Lightning and thunder attack! Russ and I brave the storm to turn in our films. When we return, pizza and vodka! Your two favorites, together at last! Russ returns home with Toxey and they pass out. Sam passes out at home base, and the rest of us piddle around the rest of the evening. Another Scramble done!
2:00 am - Ah geez, I feel grossssss...zzzz....

Top 15, err, 17!

2005-07-14T15:53:00.000-05:00

Dear Friends of Nastily:

Hello!

So I'm kind of shouting this from every rooftop I can control (here, MySpace.com, Sidewalk boards, etc.), but I am way too excited not to.

Most of you know that this past weekend, I was working on another Sidewalk Scramble. Well, all that hard work and lack of sleep paid off, because BOTH of my teams made it into the Top 15! Woohoo! (It’s actually Top 17 due to some freakish tie, but who cares?)

Listed below are the FINALIST films for the July 2005 Sidewalk Scramble. Due to a tie score situation, there are 17 finalist films. The order is reverse alphabetical by film title. This is the 8:00pm block.

TV BABIES “Vulcan City”
INSOMNIACTIVE “Två Rörmontör och Fyra Het Hyndan”
TWELVE TWENTY TWENTY TWELVE “Stewart”
SUNRISE MEDIA “Sight Unseen”
SMITH “A Quick Ending”
FLYING McDAVID BROTHERS “Quest for the Orb”
DARK HORSE FILMS “Once Upon a Time in Angst”
TEAM TAMALE “Everybody Loves Johnny”
BOGOVE “End of Knox”
THE STICKMEN “Drive”
TEAM HYPOCRITE “Don’t Go in There”
CHAINSAW FUN FACTORY “Dick Justice: Hook, Line, and…Murder”
TEAM BLOODJET! “Chlorofun”
SCABROUS OCELOTS “Cat Nap!!!”
TEAM SOPPY SUIT? “Brax to the Max”
COSTLY SUNGLASSES “Blood Red Angel”
DEATH BY FLYPAPER “Another Day in Paradise”

My teams are the red one (cartoon) and the blue one (live action). I've got the Midas touch or something. Those other teams should be trying to lure me away to join them! Ha, yeah right.

Also, congrats to Tom and Tracy for also making it. w00t!

Do you live in Birmingham and want to go? (Feel free to drive into town, yo!)

Don't miss the Scramble Screening, Fri. July 15, at the Alys Stephens Center. See over 40 short films fueled by caffeine and competition as part of Sidewalk's weekend filmmaking competition, completed just hours before Dennis hit Birmingham.

6:00 pm - Pre-Show Screening (non-top 17)
8:00pm - Finalists Screening Awards (top 17)

Tickets are available at the door or in advance by calling (205) 975-ARTS or toll free at 1-877-ART-TIKS. Or stop by the Alys Stephens Center Box Office at 1200 Tenth Avenue South, 9:30am - 6pm.

Love,

Nastily
AKA "The Dame"
AKA "Herb, the Talking Hibiscus"

P.S. I was working on a blow-by-blow blog entry of the weekend, but I will only post it after the showing. Wouldn't want to ruin the good suprises that are in store for you!

Sidewalk Scramble, Part Two

2005-07-10T11:45:00.000-05:00

We are near the home stretch of yet another Sidewalk Scramble. If you don't recall, we did this back in February rather successfully by making the top 15. Well, this year I am on TWO teams. Eek! I've been going back and forth a lot, jumping from live action to animation. I can't tell you what our films are about, but here's a few key words for you:
Team Chainsaw Fun Factory - film noir, action/adventure, pill bottle, and rubber fish
Team Flying McDavid Brothers - fantasy, action/adventure, bobble head doll, and milk cartons

If you'd like to see the final products, come to the Alys Stephens Center on Friday, July 15. Out of 44 teams, there will be a top 15 that show at 8pm. The rest start showing at 6pm.

Also, if anyone wants to buy one ticket to the American Idol tour so that I can go see my own movies, let me know. 16th row, on the floor, selling for $35. Help a girl out, would ya?

Now I must go. Sam just pulled an all-nighter and I need to go tell him that the talking poodles he's seeing are NOT real, no matter how clever their arguement is.

Devil Doll

2005-07-05T20:31:00.000-05:00

Devil Doll

America, fuck yeah!

2005-07-03T23:31:00.000-05:00

Happy 4th of July! We celebrated by watching Team America: World Police. Again.

On Saturday, we had a BBQ for Carlos, my friend who just got back from Iraq. He is a paratrooper for the army. A few points about Carlos:
1.) He was muscular when he left, but now he is steroidally huge!
2.) When in basic, he defeated every man in his squad in hand to hand combat. When he was the only one left, he whooped his sergeant’s ass, too.
3.) His unit sent him into an ambush alley, each troop with only one magazine. That's one man with 30 bullets. So when Carlos gets up to the third floor of a building, he is left with only his hands and knives to use. A terrorist jumped out of the closet and fought with him. He had Carlos up against a window, and when Carlos pushed him away, Carlos fell three floors and landed on his back. (Hello, disability check.) When he fell, the guy's grenade went off, blowing up the entire floor. Sadly, it's a good thing he was alone up there.
4.) Carlos, while training as a paratrooper, lost two fellow soldiers in training alone. Why? Because it's a tough job and that particular field is an Army tradition. However, they do not drop people into Iraq and into the fighting. Why do they bother training you as a jumper when you're not going to get to jump? Why spend the money and risk their lives on that training? They should put that whole field on pause for awhile and train those boys for an area we need them in. We are in a war. We will need you, we will use you.
5.) Carlos always talked about Dragonball Z...nonstop. It used to annoy me. Now, I wish I could get him back to that guy. I am afraid for our troops. At least these troops will be encouraged to seek counseling, unlike in the Vietnam era when it was considered "pussy" and "taboo."
6.) Carlos actually WANTS to stay in the Army, but they force them all to anyway. Seriously, they can deny you your earned retirement. And they do not give out purple hearts like they used to. He made it sound like you have to die to get any kind of decoration. It made me sick that John Kerry pranced his little ribbons around as election leverage, and here Carlos can't get anything he deserves.
7.) He goes back in about a week, and will return (God willing) in November. He is supposed to get our for good at that point, but we'll see if it goes through.

So, as we celebrate another b-day for this fabulous country, let's ponder these few points:
1.) Air Force and Navy are meeting their quota. Their minimum service time is four years.
2.) Army is not. Their minimum time is three years.
3.) The Army risks their troops' lives just in training, and do not give incentives to stay or re-enlist.
4.) Carlos is cool, and so are the rest of our troops. Play on, playas.

The Team America Theme Song:

America...
America...
America, FUCK YEAH!
Coming again, to save the mother fucking day yeah,
America, FUCK YEAH!
Freedom is the only way yeah,
Terrorist your game is through cause now you have to answer too,
America, FUCK YEAH!
So lick my butt, and suck on my balls,
America, FUCK YEAH!
What you going to do when we come for you now?
It’s the dream that we all share; it’s the hope for tomorrow

FUCK YEAH!

McDonalds, FUCK YEAH!
Wal-Mart, FUCK YEAH!
The Gap, FUCK YEAH!
Baseball, FUCK YEAH!
NFL, FUCK, YEAH!
Rock and roll, FUCK YEAH!
The Internet, FUCK YEAH!
Slavery, FUCK YEAH!

FUCK YEAH!

Starbucks, FUCK YEAH!
Disney world, FUCK YEAH!
Porno, FUCK YEAH!
Valium, FUCK YEAH!
Reeboks, FUCK YEAH!
Fake Tits, FUCK YEAH!
Sushi, FUCK YEAH!
Taco Bell, FUCK YEAH!
Rodeos, FUCK YEAH!
Bed bath and beyond (Fuck yeah, Fuck yeah)

Liberty, FUCK YEAH!
White Slips, FUCK YEAH!
The Alamo, FUCK YEAH!
Band-aids, FUCK YEAH!
Las Vegas, FUCK YEAH!
Christmas, FUCK YEAH!
Immigrants, FUCK YEAH!
Columbine, FUCK YEAH!
Democrats, FUCK YEAH!
Republicans (republicans)
(fuck yeah, fuck yeah)
Sportsmanship
Books...!

I was on COPS last night.

2005-06-28T16:51:00.000-05:00

Or rather, I called the cops and saw my tax dollars in action.

Let me start from the beginning. My neighbor is my only enemy right now (besides Jenny R, but that's a lifelong grudge, so we'll throw her out). As you can see in this handy map:

Our bedroom windows are VERY close to each other. If he was wise, he could see some naked slumber at the right angles. But seeing as he is an idiot (see testimony later in story), he's missing out. He leaves his window up all year long, propped open by a fan. I guess he likes to circulate natural air or something. Whenever he talks on the phone or watches TV in that room, I can hear everything.

Fact about Nastily: I am pretty damn tolerant of a lot of shortcomings and whatnot. I have slept through many "Seinfeld" repeats and boring conversations on fishing or bowling. But last night was the last straw. When I came home at 5pm, I could hear a faint sound coming from my parking space. This is approximately 20-30 yards from my apartment. When I reached my building, I realized I could clearly set up a camp outside his window and listen to the TV without a single problem. When I got inside, I realized I could do the same from the comfort of my own bed. Awesome. Now I don't have to get another TV for the bedroom.

Having spent most of my evening in the living room and computer room (dork alert!), I was not aware that Asshole Theater was still open. Thus, the last hour and so minutes of my evening:
10:00 - I am drugged up and ready for sleepy time. Alas, I can still hear, "Yadda, yadda, yadda," at full volume.
10:15 - Still going.
10:20 - I open my window and yell at him, which has proven effective once before. Nothing. The fucker can't hear me.
10:22 - I jump out of bed and hear a loud pop in my bad ankle.
10:23 - Still curled up on bed, agonizing and cursing the bastard's illegitimate children.
10:24 - I knock over a glass of water, then begin to sob at my lot in life (of living next to him).
10:25 - Still drying things.
10:30 - Look up Homewood PD on the internet; get number for dispatcher; call to complain.
10:38 - Camp Asshole is quiet-- have I missed the show already? What if the po-po come and suspect me of crank calling or something dishonest? They might come bang on my door!
10:41 - *Drifting off to sleep finally, but secretly hoping for police brutality.*
10:42 - "NO SOUP FOR YOU!" Ah! My ears!
10:45 - I hear low voices outside, and behold-- the cops are here. And there was much rejoicing. "Yay."
10:50 - I chat with one cop outside our windows about how he can see that I am not exaggerating, but he can barely hear me from the noise. The other two cops are still trying to get the guy's attention at his front door.
10:52 - *sudden silence, followed by vague mumbling* I hobble into a victory squirm and go out to thank the cops in person.
10:53 - The highlight of the whole scenario-- I said to the cops, "Gee, took him awhile to answer the door, didn't it?" And the male cop says, "Man, that guy's an idiot!"
10:55 - I tell my online peeps about my victory.
11:05 - Jerkoff closes his blinds and turns the window fan on.
11:06 - Eh, I can deal with white noise.
11:08 - Zzzzz....

Do I fear retaliation? If my theory about his mental condition is correct, the pessimist in me half-expects to come home and find my cat boiled alive, a la Fatal Attraction. But like the cop said, I think he's just an idiot...and an inconsiderate prick. He may try to blast me a new one with his big manly sound system, but I now have the Homewood PD in my cell's phone book. He tries it again, I am not afraid of becoming that little old lady that calls the cops about everything her neighbors are doing.

After all, nobody gets between me and my sleep.

By Popular Demand

2005-06-28T15:37:00.000-05:00

There seems to be a few requests to hear about my date on Friday. I do hate to disappoint my peeps (and my troops) so here you go.

Greg is a frequent customer of mine at job #2. He and his friends are really great. I asked him to join me for City Stages, and we went Friday and Saturday night together and had a blast. We've been on two dates since that, and things are going good. I don't foresee a serious relationship blooming from this one. He's 37, I'm 25. I don't want to go down that road again. Plus, he's not as cute as I like them to be, but he's got everything else going for him, so I keep him around.

On Friday, he picked me up at 7pm and we went to dinner at Nabeel's. The food was great, the violinist there was talented (but creepy), and the wine was yummy. How can you top that? By watching Batman Begins. This should be renamed Batman Fuckin' Begins and Kicks Ass. Seriously, best movie of the year. I'd go so far as to say it was better than Star Wars. Sorry, but if Cillian Murphy and Hayden Christensen proposed to me at the same time, I'd be Mrs. Scarecrow by dawn. Now, if Christian Bale and Ewan McGregor both proposed to me at the same time...I'd be in a tasty sandwich by midnight.

After the movie, we went back to my place, lit some candles, got out the massage oil...ha! Just kidding! We sat on my couch and I bitched about my sore back. But I got a massage out of it. Wooha! There was some PG/PG-13 stuff going on, and let's just leave it at that, shall we?

P.S. Big kisses for Travis and Sarah G. for guessing "your ass" on the previous post's question. You are both correct! Thanks for playing guys! And big hugs for everybody, cause I always choose tackle over touch football, if you know what I mean. ;)

Burns and Bruises

2005-06-27T20:38:00.000-05:00

I went tubing (as in, slow and lazy) down the Cahaba River this weekend. Twice. The first time was Saturday at around 3pm, and at around 3:45pm I got that lovely bruise. Big kiss goes to whoever can guess where it is!

The Bruise Nebula

The second trip was on Sunday at 10am, and what was when I was roasted like a 'mallow. (My boss is now calling me Lobster Lady. Very original, dorkus maximus.)

Wicked Sunburn

Don't go thinking I am a clumsy oaf who got banged up by floating. Oh no, my friend. There were some rapids. Not Colorado River rapids, but there was a good 3-foot drop onto rocks every 45 minutes or so. You've heard the term "Heads up!" Well, here it was "Asses up!" What you can accuse me of being is a believer in weather forecasts-- 50% chance of rain and scattered thunderstorms? I don't need sunblock. Flash forward an hour later, to where the sun is laughing his ass off at me.

Despite our bad luck-- bruises, burns, lost wedding bands, rain on Saturday, cold water, etc.-- we had a blast. Matt's friends had come down for his birthday and they were all on my level of humor. And they thought it funny to pee on each other. Hey-- it's like added warmth in my book. I know-- big ew. But what would you do? Get out on the river bank in Deliverance country? I don't think so!

I also had a date on Friday night, but who wants to hear about that when you can stare at my mangled body?

Being Batman

2005-06-27T13:41:00.000-05:00

You, too, can be Batman for the very reasonable price of $3,365,449. Check out the link for details.

The Sandwich Song

2005-06-22T16:37:00.000-05:00

Peanuuuuuut. Peanut buuuuuutter.
JELLY!
Peanuuuuuut. Peanut buuuuuutter.
JELLY!

Do you guys remember that old camp song? Ah, good times.

Barbie is a master of disguise for sure, but Ken just needs to stick to his bathing suit and plastic hair. Observe:

Bad! Bad, Ken! No more gigs for you!

And I don't really know what else to say. Calgon, take me away!

It's just a shimmy and a shake....

2005-06-20T10:57:00.000-05:00

First of all, thank you for all the happy b-day well-wishes. You guys are the best!

My birthday party was "off the hook, yo." I know what you're thinking-- how cool could it have been when your folks were with you? Well, I'll tell you. Or rather, I'll let Drew tell you: "we had a great time the other night and your parents are rockin' awesome!!!" It was a bit hot outside, but the breeze came in every now and then and we put some cold margaritas in our bellies. Wooha! I got Phantom of the Opera on DVD (thanks Macabee), some Clinique makeup (thanks sis), and a whole bunch of other great stuff. The big present was the turnout-- 22 people! I didn't think I had that many friends, but it touched me that they all wanted to be with me on my big day. My friends are amazing. I'll post some pics soon.

This past weekend was City Stages. I talked one of my loyal Dave’s customers into tagging along with me on Friday night. Greg and I went at 6:15 to see Michael Tolcher. MT was good, yet again, but his cheesiness is sometimes too much for me. I know what you're thinking-- too cheesy for Nastily? Sorry Mikey, but you were. I didn't care to see Silvertide or Graham Colton Band, so Greg and I took advantage of the VIP wristbands I had acquired (thanks Heather) and consumed free beers and water for 2 hours. Then it was time for The Killers!

And let me tell you, they were phenomenal. I had told Greg that I would be happy if they played the whole album in order, and when they started off with "Jenny Was A Friend of Mine," I thought they were. But then they jumped around. Here's the lineup, though some may be out of order:

Jenny Was A Friend Of Mine
On Top
Somebody Told Me
Under The Gun (b-side that rocked)
Andy, You're A Star
Midnight Show
Mr. Brightside
Change Your Mind
Smile Like You Mean It
All These Things That I've Done

I wasn't sure of the crowd at first, as in, are these real fans or just people who heard that one song on the radio one day? But by the end of the show, most everyone was singing along. And when they kicked in with, "I've got soul, but I'm not a soldier," I knew I was in good company. The entire crowd went nuts.

So how could I top that come Saturday? Well, I went back at 1:45 to see the Alabama Gravy Soppers (Joni's husband's band). I even got an artist/backstage pass out of it. Hotcha! The weather could not have been better. Sunny, in the 80s, but the coolest breeze blowing through. It felt so great. (Macabee-- remember the quote from freshmen year? Something about the wind and making love on the quad? Yeah, Saturday was definitely a beautiful day.) I was tempted to stay there all day, just soaking up the goodness, but I knew I'd be along for awhile and I wanted to change clothes for the evening.

Greg and I returned, with his friends, to see Def Leppard.
No, don't rub your eyes-- you read that right. Def freakin' Leppard. (Or as my dad likes to call them, Blind Bobcat.) I can't remember which of my friends told me that their live show was not that great. Whoever you are-- shame on you! That was one of the best shows I have ever seen. Ever! They played everything I wanted to hear except for "Two Steps Behind." And you know what? Their new stuff was sounding pretty good, too! I had so much fun, dancing, drinking free beer (thanks Nick!), and singing along to my faves. And you know what? They were the most appreciative band. They could not stop thanking the crowd and bowing, and clapping for us and themselves. I mean, it was like a love fest or something. Still, I had to make fun of them a bit. "Thank you Birmingham, England. Uh, I mean, Alabama!" Or the ever popular, "Aye! It's the one-armed man! He killed my wife!" I thought about wielding my backstage pass to meet them, but what would I say? "Um, hi....Joe Elliot. So, you're like my dad's age or something....Wanna make out?" No, I don't think so.

I was tempted to return on Sunday to see The Black Crowes, Ryan Adams, etc, but I was beat. Instead, I met Joni and peeps for lunch at Ali Baba's. I was, of course, the only single person there. When the waiter was asking who all were on the same ticket, I pointed to the empty chair and said, "Yeah, he's with me." He laughed and said, "And he's paying, right?" Heh. But when he handed out the checks, I didn't get one. I looked at him with that look that said, "And what about me?" And he said, "Don't worry-- he paid," pointing to the empty chair. So I said, "Thank you...and you too, Harvey (*pointing to chair*)." Sometimes, it pays to be the 7th wheel. Joni thought it'd be fun to leave him my number. I mean, he was very cute. Persian men should be my fantasy, really, since they're tall, dark and handsome. Not to be so predictable, but I love the black hair. And it was curly. How cute! I don't expect him to call me, though. I don't think he was doing in a "hey baby, you owe me now" kind of way, more of a "cheer up, lovely single lady" kind of way. Way to spread the good vibes, man.

I finished up my evening by reading trashy romance novels, watching a bit of bad porn (on accident-- I swear!), cooking a horrible dinner, and watching Hotel Rwanda. I capped the evening off with a big mug of "feeling like a horrible person for not going to Africa and/or trying to save the world from evil." Decaffeinated, of course. Great movie, though. Expect a good performance by Don Cheadle and Nick Nolte. Grab the popcorn, but don't forget the Kleenex. Seriously, I bawled my eyes out twice.

Question: Part 1 - How much shit would you guys give me if I went to a couple of comic/sci-fi/geekfest conventions? Part 2 - Same question, but add, "in costume?"

Happy Berfday!

2005-06-14T09:38:00.001-05:00

Yummy Cupcakes!
Originally uploaded by nattywoohoo.

Happy Birthday to me! Today I am a quarter of a century old. That's 25 for you slow pokes.

Tonight I am having a pizza party at Dave's. Yay! It should be fun. If you're in the area, come on by and wish me a Happy Berfday!

Also, it is the birthday of the U.S. Army, which is why today is called Flag Day. So, Happy Birthday, Army! I'll save you a slice of cake...or 500,000.

The WTF Story of the Day

2005-06-13T16:28:00.000-05:00

McCOMB, Miss. — Authorities say a disagreement over a frozen snack led a McComb teenager to fatally shoot his father and threaten his mother. Curtis McCray Jr., 16, was arrested and charged with murder last week after allegedly shooting Curtis McCray Sr. with a shotgun from about 20 feet away, the Pike County Sheriff's Department (search) said.

Investigator David Haywood said the shooting occurred after the teen was punished for being involved in a minor wreck, and the boy became enraged when his parents returned home eating Sno-Balls and there wasn't one for him.

Seriously, WTF?!?

P.S. Honorable Mention goes to Michael Jackson being found NOT GUILTY on all 10 charges. All 10? Seriously, not one count was true? I find that hard to believe. Congrats, Mikey-- you are the new O.J.

The Song that Moved Me: Part Two

2005-06-13T11:12:00.000-05:00

Some songs I am digging right now:

Hot Hot Heat's "Goodnight, Goodnight" - "It's not enough to hear me say you've won / You only wanted me for having fun / But now I think you've gone and had your way / And left me with a pile of bills to pay / I can't even rewind the tape machine / To listen to your drunken reasoning / So here it is - your final lullaby / Goodnight, goodnight / You're embarrassing me / You're embarrassing you / So goodnight, goodnight / Walk away from the door / Walk away from my life / So Goodnight / A little bit of rain I'd say is fair / But when it starts to thunder they all stare / This isn't goodnight, this is goodbye..."

Griffin House 's "Tell Me A Lie" - "I know you hate when I play you my songs / There ain't a one of them where you weren't involved / I bet you wish I'd take the issue at hand / And just get it solved / You won't belive me if I promise again / Telling you that I can change / Screaming at the top of my lungs / But it's out of my range / But tell me a lie, if it's true / Have ya done all the things, I never wanted you too.

Bright Eyes' "First Day of My Life" - "Remember the time you drove all night / Just to meet me in the morning / And I thought it was strange you said everything changed / You felt as if you had just woke up / And you said “this is the first day of my life / I’m glad I didn’t die before I met you / But now I don’t care I could go anywhere with you / And I’d probably be happy..." / But I’d rather be working for a paycheck / Then waiting to win the lottery / Besides maybe this time is different / I mean I really think you like me."

Raul Malo's "Every Little Thing About You" - "Twenty days, twenty lonely nights gone by / A million reasons left to cry / Things go wrong, only memories remain / Now you're gone and things have changed. / Every little thing about you / Makes it hard to live without you / I don't want to think about you, and I try / Can't deny the way I feel about you / I know I'll be alright without you / In time I will forget about you / But I'm still missing every little thing about you."

Pat Benetar's "We Belong" - "Maybe it's a sign of weakness, when I don't know what to say / Maybe I just wouldn't know what to do with my strength anyway.../ We can't begin to know it, how much we really care / I hear your voice inside me, I see your face everywhere, still you say / We belong to the light, we belong to the thunder / We belong to the sound of the words we've both fallen under / Whatever we deny or embrace for worse or for better / We belong, we belong, we belong together."

2005-06-09T23:21:00.000-05:00

I'm the Queen of Beers!

People Trains and Uniforms

2005-06-09T15:55:00.000-05:00

Remember this entry? "How can I express how awesomely awesome is my new scheme is?" Well, we have not hatched it yet, but I just talked to him. Margo meant to connect him to Heather, but she sent him to me instead. I told him Heather was gone, and he said he'd call back later. I even answered the phone with my name, and he did not know it was me. Mwa ha ha!

I saw a real passenger train today. How crazy. See, I work in the industrial area of town, where trains run a good bit, but they're loaded down with steel, wood, and other goods. This one had cars with windows and whatnot. It had to be a people train. Wow!

Some women are fainters. They get light-headed very easily and faint when they're emotions are stressed to the max. Me? The only time I fall unconscious (minus anything beer-induced) is for that 8-hour period called sleep. Even if I was in a horrendous car accident, and someone was trying to keep me awake, and they kept saying, "Stay with me! Stay awake!" If I had the energy, I'd reply, "Don't worry, buddy. Not going anywhere." Just my luck, eh? Everyone else is drifting off to the peaceful light and I am awake and in pain.

Only an hour to go. I've been avoiding a lot of work today, but at the same time, working on a lot of odds and ends projects. Trying to clear my desk off. And then I have to go job #2 after this. But on the bright side, we got new uniforms. Instead of serving pizza in a white shirt, I get to wear a beer delivery shirt with my name on it. How fun! They just came in, so I will find out tonight if I am a Budweiser or Miller Lite. Both suck, but I think the Budweiser would be more dignified. I saw Vicki in hers, and it was white with red pinstripes. Maybe that was the Bud one. If the Miller Lite one has blue stripes, I won't mind it too much.

Hmm, I wonder if they will use the Budweiser vs. Miller Lite as the basis for a new era of competition for us. I could go for a rousing game of kickball. Or dodgeball. Or volleyball. Or anything with ball in it.

Three Things I Learned from Britney Spears

2005-06-08T14:12:00.000-05:00

I turned to UPN last night to catch a glimpse at "Chaotic," the show about Britney and Kevin Federline. I wanted to see why it was as bad as everyone says it is. After 3 minutes, I turned the channel. *My eyes! Oh, God-- my eyes!*

Three things I learned about Brit-Brit:
1.) She is ugly. Without makeup on, she looks like any other backwoods girl from Mississippi. Nothing special.
2.) She is skankier than Paris Hilton. Her and Kevin took turns with a handheld camera, and they used a lot of that green night footage stuff. When the camera was pointed on Kevin, we found out why. Britney was butt-ass naked, holding the camera. And the crew's sleeping quarters were 3 yards away.
3.) They are ridiculously dumb. They talk to each other like children. Not baby voices, mind you, but more like 4 or 5-year-olds-- slow, plain, uninspired. Of course, kids have a better vocabulary than them, but it took them forever to say anything to each other. Kevin: "You're...sooo... hot. It's...damn....se-xy. You...being...ass...naked...."

Britney, you have all the money in the world, but it cannot buy you class. You and your skanky husband are ruining your career. Do not ever let your private life be public ever again. Do you hear me?!?

Also, I saw a BMW Roadster convertible this morning on my way to work. It had a bike rack on the back that was almost as big as the car. At one point do things become a bad idea? Good luck taking that car to the mountains, buddy. Oh wait, maybe it's not a bike rack, but an add-on trunk. In that case, get a bigger case, you midlife crisis loser.

Whew, bitter are we?

The party on Friday night was great. It was Steph's birthday. We were being silly, as usual. G&D have this plate and saucer holder that sits on their breakfast table, and the top of it is an iron outline of a Chef Boyardee impostor. Matt walked by and when I took his picture, I took it through the outline. So, being the drunk, silly people we are, we had everyone do a Chef Boyardee portrait with their faces lined up with the chef's face. They are hilarious. I'll share a couple once I have them online.

Went back to the gym yesterday and did cardio for the first time since the ankle sprain. It wasn't too bad, ankle-wise, but after two weeks of no cardio, the sweat was flowing like the Nile. Ew.

Blah blah blah. Today sucks.

Justin Morrow

2005-06-01T22:12:00.000-05:00

I haven't seen him in almost a year. It's a shame that it is this kind of reunion. On Friday, at 10am, we will lay another good man to rest. A man who was finally getting to a good place in life. A man who joined the military to find himself through service, hard work, and discipline.

Unfortunately, Justin didn't die fighting for his country. He died in a car accident over Memorial Day weekend, and it was something that probably could have been prevented. Guys, wear your seat belts. There are some crazy people on the road out there. Be prepared.

To end on a not-so-desperate note, a story. Justin told this to us once, and every time I tell it I think of him.

"I was walking behind a classmate one day and she had on a very short skirt. Before you get lusty thoughts in your head, you have to understand something. She was a rather big girl. A big black girl with a ghetto booty the size of a small country. So she's walking, and her skirt keeps bunching up under her backpack. After about six waddles, I can see what kind of underwear she's wearing. A bright pink thong! So to paint a clearer picture, imagine this: A little bit of pink...and ass. Littlebitofpink...and aaaaassssssssss."

God speed, Justin. Hope to see you again someday, buddy.

Past Life Diagnosis

2005-05-31T16:23:00.000-05:00

Your past life diagnosis:

I don't know how you feel about it, but you were male in your last earthly incarnation. [That explains the lesbian dreams.]
You were born somewhere in the territory of modern East Australia around the year 825. [So I was an Aborigini?]
Your profession was that of a leader, major or captain. [That's Chief Aborigini to you!]

Your brief psychological profile in your past life:
Timid, constrained, quiet person. You had creative talents, which waited until this life to be liberated. Sometimes your environment considered you strange. [So I was an Aborogini chief that was a suppressed inventor, painter, etc, and was generally misunderstood? Called insane but was actually a quiet genius?]

The lesson that your last past life brought to your present incarnation:
Your main task is to make the world more beautiful. Physical and spiritual deserts are just waiting for your touch. Keep smiling! [Ah, I agree 100%. Watch out world-- here comes Natty Woohoo!]

Do you remember now? [Um, no. Wait a minute--um, no.]

On the road again.

2005-05-27T18:07:00.000-05:00

I Ate Ostrich!

2005-05-26T12:06:00.000-05:00

This past weekend, I returned once again to NashVegas. It was Cody's birthday weekend, so it promised to be a true fiesta. I barely know Cody from Corey, but both are stand-up guys and friends of Tman. Therefore, good times were promised for all in attendance.

There was, however, a bit of bad luck for yours truly. Tman often comments on our Moretti connection. Well, as it turns out, we now have an ankle connection to brag about. Let's go back to Friday the 13th. *duh-duh-DUHM!*

I meet up with Finn upon arriving that night because Tman was still working for da man. He took me to Tman's place so I can freshen up. It was a great opportunity to get to know him, even if it was slightly psychological. He sat in the living room, while I was in the bathroom getting ready and asking him questions about himself. In other words, he sat on a couch, not facing me, while I asked him to tell me about his childhood. Heh.

Tman joins us at Jackson's and then the Jaeger shots begin. It would be the last time I try to keep up with the boys. Minus the two shots, I stuck to beer. I only had two, but the brand I had, Dogfish Head, had a high alcohol content. Yikes. By the time we made it to the Bound'ry, I was lit. Hey, another shot? Sure! I remember wanting to give Hank a noogie, but then I accidentally clocked him in the lip. Sorry, bud. I also remember speaking to Danny C (AKA Romeo), the valet guy.

And then the fun began.
"Pull over, I gotta hurl." *bleh*
Twenty minutes pass in my head (probably two minutes in real time), and I repeat my request again. This time, it was not such a smooth transition.
"Nastily, there's a ditch there."
"Hello ditch. OW!" *ankle sprain*

But at least he held my hair. How sweet!

The next day was spent napping, drinking Pedialyte, and eating anything but pancakes. Man, those naps were great. At 5pm on Saturday, we went to see Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith. OR ROTS, as we call it. Yay! It did anything but rot. In fact, it ROCKED! Go see it multiple times. Afterwards, we picked Finn up for more drinking fun, but you can bet someone took it easy this go around, and I think her name is Nastily. We did, however, discover another connection between us. The ankle, that part of the body that somehow, all three of us have effed up whilst drinking. Join the club! It only hurts for a year! :)

Saturday night was much tamer for me, but still a total blast. Cody's birthday fun was at the Bound'ry, and they serve really good food. I ate Ostrich! It was tasty, like pork tenderloin meets steak. We were also joined by MMMikey this evening, and it was a great pleasure to hang with the mix master himself.

I left at around 4pm on Sunday, but not before brunching at the Tin Angel and looking at big houses. We also saw the Girl Scouts center, in addition to the previously joked on Boy Scouts center. They did, after all, have a fish in a scout uniform.

I think the girls need a beaver or something.

Odds and Ends

2005-05-23T11:24:00.000-05:00

My cat sounds like Jimmy Stewart when he's frustrated. He'll climb atop Mount Cardboard Box and try to reach a bug on the ceiling. If he can't, he makes this odd "meeu-howr" sound. Imagine if Jimmy Stewart was a cat. "Wha, wha, well, I-uh, I can't seem to-uh get this here bug, uh...." If you heard him, you'd understand 100%. Well, maybe 99%.

And now Scamps has his own online profile.
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Velvet Revolver pics are up, as well as pics from the beach. Yay!
http://www.flickr.com/photos/nattywoohoo/

Some highlights from the beach trip:
- Eating breakfast on the back patio, watching the dolphins swim by.
- Riding the waves on Saturday, when they were so huge you could almost surf them.
- Walking on the shoreline at night and watching the little microcreatures glow at the touch of our feet.
- Learning to play Mexican Train with dominoes.
- Having the strong desire to read and sit still instead of trying to do everything at once.
- Getting through book one of "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" and laughing aloud the whole time.
- Great food at Cafe Thirty-A, including a tasty Pomegranate Martini.
- Baking cookies and making Mojitos in our fabulous kitchen.
- Awesome weather! When it rained, the clouds rolled in, five drops fell, and then the clouds went away again.

This vacation was a beach bum's paradise. We would casually drink Coronas throughout the day. After a 3-4 hour spell on the beach, I would come in, get showered, and lay around and read. Tough life, eh? The best way to sum up the attitude of the overall trip lies in a simple move on my part. One afternoon, I was being lazy and sipping on a Corona or two. I decided it was time to get up and shower. So what do I do? I take the Corona with me to the shower. Shampoo the hair, take a sip, rinse. Sounds so simple and ridiculous, but that was my life for 3-4 days.
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How can I express how awesomely awesome is my new scheme is? Heather, my friend and colleague, is helping me hatch the most fun ever to be had by two conniving wenches. Before I tell you the plan, a quick back story.

Joel, my bud here at work, was turning 30 last July. His wife threw him a surprise party and I was invited, as was his friend Linc, whom he had been wanting to set me up with for some time. Linc and I ended up being two of four single people there, so we hit it off automatically (the other two hooked up as well). On a side note, I got voted best breasts at this party, and the other single girl got best ass. Go figure. Linc and I ended up making out, but after failed attempts, we never went out. The end.

Linc had mentioned that he worked with a company that manages freight business for companies that do a lot of shipping. Somehow, Heather got his card and had scheduled an appointment with him. When she told me this, she was giggling so much. She was thinking the same thing I was. Men, beware of a scorned woman with loyal friends.

The plan was to get him in here and we would just create a very awkward situation for him, but his appointment was while I was at the beach. Dang it! But don't worry-- he'll be back in a week or two. Heather tells me that he was oozing charm to the point of hitting on her, and that the following Sunday she ran into him and his GIRLFRIEND at her church. So not only is he hitting on Heather, but he has a girlfriend. See? This guy is just asking for embarrassment.
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So on myspace.com, I got the following email:

hey, im 5'10 160 musc/slim ~ tan ~ dress nice ~ 6pack ~ shaved head - i will b coming 2 birmingham from the Atl for 2 days this weekend. If ud like2 get up n have some fun n party let me know ~ if u could use some xtra cash _may -b- i could help ya there 2.. if you want ta leave ya number 4 me

This is wrong on so many levels. I've searched my profile for evidence of prostitution, but I appear to be squeaky-clean. I also didn't see any mention of my love for people who write with numbers. I think the icing on the cake was the picture on hid profile. It's of his abs, nothing else. I feel like I need to take a bath or go into hiding.

On a similar note, I got a spam email that I opened on accident, and it was for a free washer/dryer combo. I noticed that it had a huge stream of words after the ad, and was curious as to what kind of rambling a spam ad could have. It was of a personal nature, like the dude who made the email had pasted some of his emails or blog entries into it. Can you imagine the repercussions of this? He's worked so hard to get to this point in his career, where he has moved up from collecting email address to making actual spam emails. Big responsibility is now his, and he effs it up. Here's a snippet of what he had to say. I tried to keep it short, but it's just so bizarre!

"I thought I'd be a good time. Sunday night at around 3:00 AM (which is probably the easiest way). Anyway, I just found out (doh) that now that cyrus is working, I've still got to move over both pookadook and neshel to my first real engineering project went as planned, with a *really* nasty virus that's been "pressing" since the weekend is coming and it worked well last weekend, I'm going to kick them out of the door later (therapy and also because Allison is working a lot of things like that. This isn't a slam against americans, just the dumbasses who produce crap like this. And if this car ever broke, we'd be in the middle of fixing my mailserver at home, but just found out that there had been layoffs down at one of the day. Most of the province all the boxes, as well as the server, solaris wouldn't recognise any of these times to be getting my mac mini :) One final thing, I've added a pile of new people to my list especially from #feline that are down right now, specifically since we're not overly tied to Windows any more, and also because Allison is working a lot of sense, but I think many people would have noticed, but there were a few odd hickups, I managed to get more work done. I have them the odd time now, but it's just the bulk import to the exit before it becomes nice outside and get rid of some crud on your computer. You'll thank yourself (I'm sure) when it comes time for some upgrades I think, bring on the server right now... I still have no idea how I have been administratively difficult, not technically difficult so they're not nearly as fun. The other thing that I hope to get at above, I think it's a treat for both of you who I've known for a while this is her second time applying and she got in this time is that they give you a new laptop there, so it looks like the cancer is now in his liver too..."

So what do you think? ... Yeah, that's what I said.
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Every woman in America is on a diet, so I feel sorry for all the girlfriends and mothers out there who receive chocolate on V-day or Mother's Day. If I were extremely sensitive about my weight and my lover gave me some chocolate, to me that would scream, "I hate you and I want you to get fat so I can dump you guilt-free."
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Funny email exchange between our Nashville Ops Manager and myself:
HIM: Nashville phones are up temporarily at the 615-***-**** number. Please be patient and use email if the problem isn't urgent. Thank you for your patients.
ME: Dammit Jim, I'm not a doctor. I don't have any patients.
HIM: Huh?
ME: Patients...I think you mean patience. Sorry, you ran across English major. ;) And apparently, a Star Trek nerd.
HIM: Woops, lol.

Dear Jenn,

2005-05-20T16:54:00.000-05:00

I had a dream last night and you were in it.

It was New Year's Eve. You had driven up to go to a party with me, much like that time we went to the Kudu. There were actually two parties to go to. One was a HUGE sponsored ordeal, with parking directors, wristbands, and everything. I was also meeting up with a boy there, too. It was someone familiar, but yet I don't know who it is.

The party was fun, but I had scheduled another rendezvous with another guy at another party. Aye caramba! So I see to it that you are well occupied by various amusing things, and I slip out for a brief moment. The other party is more of an open-aired get-together, and still fun. The other boy is not as cute as the first one, but I like him for some reason.

Shenanigans happen and whatnot, and before I know it, the clock is about to strike midnight. I was in the process of leaving the second party to come back to the first. I ended up missing the countdown and the chance to kiss anyone. On top of that, you had gotten really drunk and were aimlessly wandering around. I called your cell and you didn't know where you were. At first I panicked, then remembered that I could (somehow) track you using our cell phones, like a GPS finder. As it turns out, you were still at the party, just in the basement level. Heh. I can't remember if you were aware of my absence, but I felt so bad.

And I think I ended up hurting the first boy, the favored one. I was upset at myself for screwing up all-around.

I think the dream is telling me to settle down. I try to do so much at times, but if I stick to one thing (whether it be a boy or task or hobby), I'd enjoy it much more. Maybe one day I will take that advice. In the meantime, ADD runs rampant.

Love,
Nastily

Bye bye, beach.

2005-05-15T11:56:00.000-05:00

Flower Power

2005-05-10T15:03:00.000-05:00

I live for comedy. I imagine that, when the peeps in my hallway tell me that I crack them up on a continuous basis, it's like when someone says that you are the most beautiful person in the world. Seriously! Cloud nine every time! Right now I am doing my variation of the "All In the Family" theme. I have no idea why it's in my head, or why it's so funny to everyone (random things are usually the funniest), but it's a great hallway to work in.

I have my new photos online. This new batch is of the Birmingham Botanical Gardens. Here are some of my faves:

Some of them, like the purple iris, are more appreciated as a bigger image. The zoom can really show off the good, no?

Friday night was the Velvet Revolver show. Despite the two occasions of getting lost amidst the many interstates of Atlanta, we made it right as the opening band, Hoobastank, finished up. Talk about good timing! Our seats were pretty good. See where section 101 is? X Marks the spot! We were seat 7 and 8, so were a little to the left. But not too shabby. They played most of the songs from their album (Chris says 85%, I say 100%), plus some old GNR and STP faves, like "Mr. Brownstone," "Sex Type Thing," and even a Floyd cover ("Wish You Were Here"). I got some great pics, which should be up soon. In the meantime, feast your eyes and ears on some videos! I'll post them all later, but for now, I'll give you my fave-- Sex Type Thing!

Tomorrow after work, I leave for the beach. Four days of beach goodness! You can bet the pictures will be fantastic.

Two more hours till I meet Matt for beer after work. Wooha!

05/05/05!!!!!

2005-05-05T22:14:00.000-05:00

In the news.

2005-05-03T15:42:00.000-05:00

U.S. Climber Falls to Death on Everest

KATMANDU, Nepal (AP) - An American climber was killed on Mount Everest after he slipped and fell into a crevice, Nepalese mountaineering officials said Tuesday.

Seattle climber Michael O'Brien, 39, fell to his death on Sunday as he and his brother Chris, 32, were returning to their base camp and were crossing the Khumbu Icefall, a dreaded section of the route that has claimed the lives of many climbers.

"I honestly never even dreamed anything bad would happen to them. We're all numb and shocked," his oldest sister, Kathryn Caltabiano, told The Seattle Times. "Mike was physically fit, mentally stable and cognitively aware of the challenge."

Well, that doesn't help you when you're just forgetful.

“It was clear that this climber was not clipped into the fixed ropes at the time of his fall; thus, a slip which should have been quickly arrested resulted in a fatal fall over a 10m drop."
(MountEverest.net)

Still, it's very sad. According to their website, they were attempting to become the first American brothers together to reach the summit of Mount Everest. They were climbing for charity, as well as recognition. Peace be with you and yours.

In happier news:
Firefighter Emerges From a Lost Decade

ORCHARD PARK, N.Y. (AP) - Nearly 9 1/2 years after a firefighter was left brain-damaged and mostly mute during a 1995 roof collapse, he did something that shocked his family and doctors: He asked for his wife.
...
"How long have I been away?" Herbert asked.

"We told him almost 10 years," the uncle said. "He thought it was only three months."

Herbert, who will turn 44 Saturday, was fighting a house fire Dec. 29, 1995, when the roof collapsed, burying him under debris. After going without air for several minutes, Herbert was comatose for 2 1/2 months and has undergone therapy ever since.
...
"He stayed up 'til early morning talking with his boys and catching up on what they've been doing over the last several years," firefighter Anthony Liberatore told WIVB-TV.

Herbert's sons were 14, 13, 11 and 3 when he was injured.

Staff members at the nursing facility recognized the change in Herbert, Manka said, when they heard him speaking and "making specific requests."

"The word of the day was 'amazing,'" he said.

Dr. Rose Lynn Sherr of New York University Medical Center said when patients recover from brain injuries, they usually do so within two or three years.

"It's almost unheard of after 10 years," she said, "but sometimes things do happen and people suddenly improve and we don't understand why."

Geez, I mean, how awesome is that? If I was his son, I wouldn't know what to say.
"So, Nastily, what have you been doing for 10 years?"
"Eh, same stuff as usual. Nothing major. Well, except for that whole graduating college thing."

Talk about pressure to achieve! I wouldn't want my dad to wake up and find that I haven't done jack shit in ten years. I know I've DONE a lot, but nothing significant for mankind or anything. All of my great memories are of mundane shit that the average person would not want to hear me recount.

But I've been happy! I've had some great moments, met some amazing people, and I think my life is pretty great. Is that okay? I still have plenty of years to make my impact...right?

Up comes dinner!

2005-05-02T21:55:00.000-05:00

And in other news, I discovered this nugget of joy. A website devoted to the "love" between Spock and Captain Kirk. Gag!

T'hy'la

My fave picture? Go to the Fan Art page, search for "breakfast." Then, prepare for your own breakfast to come up.

Go ahead and puke-- I don't mind.

"Busy Bee! Where's Busy Bee?"

2005-05-02T12:24:00.000-05:00

It's been awhile since I have updated. Been too busy basking in the fun times that come when I'm hanging with the Tman. I went to Nashville last weekend (22-24) to see him and had a blast! Want to see some pictures? Okay!
1.) The drive up was beautiful.
2.) The monuments were amazing.
3.) The baseball game was an experience.

I've got a bunch of personal pics, too, but you know I like to protect the innocent. Of course, it's more like not showing the faces of the guilty parties.

Tman has a great synopsis of the weekend on his main page. Check it out. Here are my personal highlights:
- Irish car bombs @ McGuiness pub
- two kinds of pancakes at the Pancake Pantry
- a rainy trip to the Parthenon
- dinner at Mambu with Edwin and JD
- watching Looney Tunes in lieu of napping ("Can't you see that I'm much sweeter? I'm your little senorit-er.")
- the fat cheeseburger I inhaled after the ballgame

Hmm...cheeseburger.

Since then, I've been a busy bee! I hung out with my firemen neighbors, took some more great pictures of sunset clouds, and had drinks with Macabee and Susie. Wednesday (27) was Russ's b-day, so he, Toxey, and I went to see Kung Fu Hustle and eat Chinese food. We giggled so much during dinner that I blew a few liquids out the nostrils. Ew, gross...but so worth it! We also went to the Botanical Gardens beforehand and I got some great flower shots. Yay!

On Friday, Tman made a last minute venture back down to Bham. We went to get food at Formaggio's again because it's the only place I can think of that serves beer and good food at 11:30pm. There he got to meet Macabee and Heather. Yay! Heather joined us for a trip to Bailey's and then to Marty's. We three had a great time together. Bailey's was a bit too loud and not at its prime, but Tim seemed to enjoy it anyway. Heather had been commenting on a party she had been at where a guy was being very obnoxious. She called me the next day to tell me that she found out who he was. Care to take any guesses? It was PASCO! Why was I not surprised?

Other than the funny phone call, my Sunday was filled with laundry, church, free BBQ, a steak the size of my head, and a trip to Rooms 2 Go. I tried to keep a low profile in there as to avoid constant sales pitches, but it was their opening day so the employees were at their peak. Having recently been trained in the art of ninja sales, they were ready to put their skills to the test. Popping up from behind sofas with their slimy smiles, they'll coax you into a comfort zone before *snap*-- you just bought a dining room. I was only their to help Steph and Mandy shop, so I was not a good candidate to enchant. I did not succumb to their gravitational sales pull. I was strong. I was the victor.

Up next for Miss Nastily:
- Velvet Revolver in Atlanta on Friday
- Rosemary Beach from May 11 till May 15
- more shenanigans

Plural of Lexus-- Lexi?

2005-04-22T14:27:00.000-05:00

After talking with MMMikey, I decided to buy Raul Malo's CD, "Today." So awesome. I bought it used, however, from Amazon.com, and the package included a note from the seller. It had a slight pathetic tone to it. It told how he was a vet, slightly disabled, etc., and just started selling CDs online. It was a "handwritten" message, but one that had been photocopied. He had written in my name and the date on his own. I am not sure if it is a ploy to get me to buy more from him, or if it was really a thank you note. One thing he did not mention, however, was that he was a chain smoker. The CD and its case smell like the bottom of a 10-year-old ashtray. I left it in my car overnight, and now it stinks, too. That nap is like pollen, sticking to anything with a surface.

There's this great bar in Montgomery called Head on the Door. I used to frequent it when I lived there. It's the best place for late night bar fun. It's small, smokey, and loud, but they have awesome bands, sarcastic bartenders, and plenty of guys. So, fellas, you may not like that last part much, but I can also vouch that some fine looking honeys go there, too. I mean, hello? I went there! (And I'm modest, too!)

My friends' bands play(ed) there a lot, and Joni's husband, Ashley, just quit his bluegrass band to join a hardcore band. Going from the banjolin to a lickin, kickin guitar is a bit odd, but he can play anything with strings, so.... Anywho, I miss that bar. I need to plan a special trip to Montgomery just so I can go there.

If you drive a Lexus, you need to get out of my way. I was completely surrounded by them the other day. The words "conspiracy" and "death by crushing metal" came to mind. Seriously, drive something else already. No BMWs, please. They are co-conspirators.

In an hour, I'll be heading towards Nashville to see Tman, and also meet up with MMMikey. I can't wait. If you're in town, look for the party.

And now, a funny sign I saw on Randy's page:

The Sad Little Kitten

2005-04-18T16:18:00.000-05:00

I joined Flickr! Woohoo! Or should I say...Natty Woohoo?

Hope your weekend was good. Mine was pretty neat. My BFF, Joni, and her husband, Ashley, came up for family visits and whatnot.
A few quick highlights:

Taj India for Friday night dinner, followed by drinks at Corey's place and washboardin' at Marty's
Wedding Reception at the Arlington Antebellum Home, which was right down the road from Elmwood Cemetery*
Russ and I, going back to Elmwood to take pictures and play with his recording equipment
Russ joining me at Joni's sister's house for Clue, Demon, and other board games
Joni's Nephew, Zeke, had his 5th birthday party, full of trampoline hopping, cupcakes, and one sad kitten**

*Elmwood Cemetery - In our senior (?) year of college, Bashaw had a photography class where, for her final project, she had to tell fairytales through her pictures. I was her subject. She took me to Elmwood Cemetery down the road from BSC. I remember lying on a grave and looking sad to recreate Cinderella, hiding in a patch of Magnolia branches with a hood on for Little Red Riding Hood, and sleeping on an elaborate slab for Sleeping Beauty. There was also one of me walking away down cemetery road, looking back at the camera, but I don't remember which one that was for. I actually never got to see the damn pictures, but I hear they turned out pretty good.

Across the street was an old Spanish style building where they used to make the tombstones. It's beautifully dilapidated. The warehouse part has stucco walls up to 4 or 5 feet, then paned windows up to the ceiling. Most of the windows were broken, giving it an eerie look. The roof was partially caved in, allowing for dramatic streaks of sunlight to shoot through. Plants had started to grow in some areas, and it was overall badass. We took a few pictures of me behind some broken window pains, and I think that might have been Goldie Locks and the Three Bears. Use your imagination.

When Russ and I returned, we only had about an hour and a half before the gates closed. We returned to back to the old memorial company building, but the warehouse part was "sealed" up and there was weird radio-like sounds coming from it. We high-tailed it out of there. It's a shame because it used to have awesome blackberry vines in there.

**Sad kitten - Sunday ended on a bad note. I found a kitten at the end of the driveway where the party was. It was half-starved and half-blind, but just the sweetest thing. It came towards the party like it wanted to socialize, so I went to pick it up. I could feel its ribcage poking out-- that's how starved it was. And its mucous membranes were pretty gooped up, and we suspected it was already partially blind. I put it down on the ground to see what it would do, and it stayed near me. One thing was for sure-- that kitten was not staying back there. I had to choose to either take it with me and hope the vet bills for it wouldn't be too high, or let Joni’s dad put it down (they are that kind of family). There wasn’t a good chance for the kitten, and if I had taken it home it could have gotten my cat sick. Then I would have had two problems on my hands. So, I let him put it down.

Call me extremely sensitive to animals, but it had me upset the rest of the day. Still am. Is that pathetic of me? It’s just that it came right up to me, like it trusted me to save it. I guess, though, in a way I did save it. I saved it from pain and suffering. I couldn't help wishing I had taken it, though I know it would have been risky. Her dad assured me that even if it isn't fully blind now, it will be soon. So, I think we did the right thing.

When I was younger, I used to cry myself asleep a lot because I would start praying for God to look after all the homeless people, and the stray cats and dogs. It would upset me just to think of poor homeless kittens, so I cried a lot at night. And now, I don't even think once about praying for the homeless people. Not that I don't care, but I have a soft spot for creatures who cannot voice their pain, and also who do not have the ability to lie to you about what they need money for.

For one weekend only!

2005-04-15T15:08:00.000-05:00

So I found something kind of cool today through Morgan's comment section:
http://whoyoutalkinat.blog-city.com/

On this blog, he used to have a song of the day where you could listen to his song pick for that day. This weekend, he is doing an archived version of all the songs from June – December. It’s kind of cool. If you want to listen, open up Windows Media Player, go to File, Open URL, and enter: http://69.243.201.238:8000/

From the host:
“This time around, I have compiled every song (minus 2-5) ever featured back in the days of the daily Required Listening posts. From 9:00 am on Friday until Monday morning, the Required Listening Anthology will play in its entirety, in order. The whole thing takes a little over 19 and a half hours, so it'll play 3+ times before all is said and done.”

His play list is below. I came in on 7/3, and right now, at 2:57pm, we are on 8/15…I think. I came back from lunch to some very strange music that lasted forever. It sounded Chinese, so I am guessing that was 8/14. Maybe it was 7/30, seeing as a lot of full CDs played beforehand. I couldn’t have possibly missed more than that. At least I hope I didn’t miss Raul Malo. But it’s been fun because I have heard some great music that made me wonder who it was. It may just open you up to a whole new genre!

You can get the full playlist at the aforementioned website, but here are a few personal highlights:

6/30 Cochise – Audioslave

7/9 Super Bon Bon – Soul Coughing
7/14 Rusty Cage (2 versions) – Johnny Cash/Soundgarden
7/17 Where Did You Sleep Last Night? (2 versions) + In The Pines – Nirvana/Leadbelly/Bill Monroe
7/18 Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger – Daft Punk

8/26 Head Over Heels + Mad World – Tears For Fears + Gary Jules

9/3 Every Little Thing About You – Raul Malo
9/15 XTC vs. Adam Ant – They Might Be Giants
9/17 Theme from Northern Exposure – David Schwartz
9/19 Cold Beverage – G. Love and Special Sauce
9/26 Sailin’ Shoes + Hey Julia + Sneakin’ Sally Through The Alley – Robert Palmer

10/10 Make It Funky, Part 1 – James Brown
10/17 Rick James – Jude
10/29 Three MC’s and One DJ – Beastie Boys

11/3 Comfort Eagle – Cake
11/7 It’s Tricky – Run DMC
11/10 American IV: The Man Comes Around (full CD) – Johnny Cash
11/12 Stay Up Late – Talking Heads
11/18 I Want Your Sex – George Michael
11/19 Sister Christian – Night Ranger

12/1 Rods and Cones – Blue Man Group
12/2 Hash Pipe – Weezer

I'll be busy this weekend with wedding receptions, out of town BFFs, and whatnot. Leave me some comments, peeps! I love the love! Ooh, 8/1 just came on. Yay Stevie Wonder!

The joke's on me!

2005-04-14T16:58:00.000-05:00

I got this great t-shirt from the T-shirt Warehouse in Atlanta (in the Little 5 Points area). It's a red shirt with a city in Mexico depicted on it. I forget the name. It's got the town square in a black litho-type print. I'd wear it a lot more if the neck wasn't so high. Maybe I'll cut it and relace it with rawhide or something. I dunno.

Anyway, to the joke. I'm webcamming with someone and notice in my own little pop-up window that it looks like, well, some sort of phallic activity is going on, right on the front of my shirt.

Image title: "insertpenishere.jpg."

Yeah, so...joke's on me. Literally.

Audioblogging!

2005-04-13T15:27:00.000-05:00

Laundromat Election 2005

2005-04-13T13:46:00.000-05:00

Since my last post mentioned the woes of Laundromats, I offer these three choices in the search for the perfect one:

1.) Prestige Cleaners - PROS: There are lots of washers and dryers to choose from. It's also in walking distance of Payless Shoes, Taco Bell, Popeye's Chicken, Dollar General, and Winn-Dixie. CONS: No one speaks English. It's either Mexican, some variation of Arabic/African, or Redneck. And the store name is a lie. Pee before you leave the house (the bathroom is horrid and has no door), wear shoes that are not likely to stick to detergent-soaked carpets, and hope you don't die of a heat stroke.

2.) Lag's Washateria - PROS: Good neighborhood, cheap washes, and the machines finish quickly. Also owned by the guy who owns the eatery next door, which carries a yummy tuna salad. Dude's mom lives across the street, so she can close up if you're not done when closing hours come around. CONS: Dear God, does this old lady ever shut up? If she says one more thing like, "Oh, that colored girl two houses down married a Thompkins boy ten years ago..." I will shove my used dryer sheets in her mouth and tape it shut. Okay, that's a bit harsh. I mean, she's not senile, so at least she rambles in a competent manner. But look lady, my dryer has beeped 10 times already. Please be quiet so I can go check on my clothes!

3.) That place in the Highland Park area by Rojo - PROS: People my age frequent there. If I am hungry, I can go to Rojo and eat a quesadilla and/or have a Hoegaarden. Usually plenty of machine vacancies. CONS: Good luck parking within a 50 yard radius! Be prepared to lug laundry for 40 days and 40 nights, or block all traffic when you triple park. And once you get inside, you cross over a giant manhole that leaks toxic smells all over that corner of the room. Spew.

When not washing old clothes, I am enjoying wearing new ones. I bought two skirts at Banana Republic for only $40. The two, one black and one khaki, are made of cotton, but have 2% spandex to give it that sleek, crisp, slightly stretchy feel to them. Perfect for, oh, I dunno, yesterday and today at work? I used to wait forever before wearing new stuff. My mom would always say, "Don't wear your new shoes. You just got them! Save them!" Geez, Ma, don't you know we're not promised tomorrow? Look good today! We laugh about our quirk now, and have apparently learned to overcome it. However, I still haven't worn anything from when she took me shopping. It hasn't been warm enough, plus my shoes are all wrong. I need more shoes. Damn this girl gene.

And with that, I take my leave. But not before a word from our wise sponsor-- me.

"Stress, like smallpox, is one of those things you get for free but wish you could rewrap it and give as a gift to someone else."
-- Me

A Roman Holiday

2005-04-12T12:36:00.000-05:00

I didn't have to work last Thursday evening. It was pretty awesome. I can't tell you what I ended up doing, but I am sure it was lovely. On Friday, the lovely Macabee and I attended the kick-off party for Art on the Rocks. Overall, it was an awesome event. It was two parts "see and be seen," one part artsy, and one part good food. Holly Williams played in the sculpture garden, and we could not have asked for better weather. Macabee seemed to have a great time, as did I. We saw a few folks we knew, mingled for a bit, then took our leave.

I was back home by around 8:30 or 9, and not very tired. I was all dressed up with no (other) place to go. So, I do what I do best-- lament to anyone who will listen. The willing victim that night-- Tim. After playing with the idea that he should drive down and see me, he surprised me by taking me up on the offer. He was to arrive Saturday afternoon.

Nastily got up before 10am on a Saturday morning. No shit! I took Sir Scamps-a-Lot at 8 to get his first rabies shot ever. (My boy is growing up!) Then I went to get my oil changed and tires rotated/balanced. Went to the gym, tanning bed (winter white only works on me if it's the color of my clothes), and the grocery store. I also did one hour photo, and all by noon! I feel so proud of myself to not be a lazy, sleep-loving, bum for once. But hey, that's what weekends are for, right? After some serious cleaning of the apartment and myself, I was ready for company.

Tim showed up in all his Scotch/Irish goodness and we immediately thought one thing-- beer and food! We went to the Mill/Grill for some outdoor noshing, where we were interrupted several times by loud Harley-Davidsons and kamikaze pigeons. We also had a quick drink on the patio at Dave's. Man, you can't beat a beautiful day with good company. After purchasing some Boddington's (after the search for Pete's Wicked Wanderlust Cream Ale left us with the conclusion that it must be a seasonal beer) and heading back to my apartment, we sat around for a bit before I changed clothes for the night's main event-- Downright at Zydeco. Wooha! Perhaps it wasn't a good idea to move to Marty's afterwards and have that last Guiness. I wasn't drunk to the point of memory loss, but late night fatigue + beer = some vague memory about calling the bartender "sugah." And when the bartender said, "If you had made it 'sugah daddy,' these beers would be free." Dammit, where was my head?

After reverting to my old ways and sleeping till 11, we got up and opted to have pancakes at Crepes Egg-Cetera. Yum. I took Tim on a driving tour of the Ham, which included a frolic around Vulcan Park.

He had to leave when evening came, which meant that I had to face the harsh reality that my laundry was not going to wash itself. *grumble* But at least the weekend kicked ass.

Dear "24,"

2005-04-11T20:26:00.000-05:00

Thank you sooooo very much for kicking ass tonight. It's only halfway over, but I am more on the edge of my seat right now than all the previous episodes from this season combined. Okay, well, the Arab family situation was pretty intense, but this one is definitely better than that boring crap from last week.

In summation, good job, tell Fox to keep up the good work, and I cannot wait to see the second half of tonight's marvelous episode.

Love,
Miss Nastily
Birmingham, AL

Think On These Things

2005-04-08T15:44:00.000-05:00

On a show where girls are competing to be "America's Next Top Model," I find myself asking one important question over and over: Aren't models supposed to be...pretty? Don't get me wrong-- they are all beautiful and unique snowflakes-- but when did the qualifications for being a top model go from being beautiful to having a unique deformity? Case in point: Lluvy (pronounced U-V), a janitor from California. Nice girl, if a bit hard on herself. She doesn't think she's sexy. Hate to say it, but she's right.

Now here's an example of a classic pretty girl:

See the difference? Good. Most of the girls on here have one big flaw that makes them complete asses. Brittany, for example, is a knockout. But she's a lush and thought drinking a lot would be a great idea when rubbing elbows with people who could make or break her career. Then there's a girl who is pretty, but might as well be an android with her lack of emotions. Whatever happened to getting a good ole Southern gal? Pretty, polite, and fun to be around.

If the early bird knew better, he'd wait till the afternoon to catch the worms. I was walking back to my apartment at around noon the other day and noticed a lot of dried up worm carcasses on the sidewalk. It had rained early that morning, so the worms did their mass exodus into the world above ground level. I don't know why they choose to crawl onto the sidewalks and fry until they die, but they do. Who knows? Maybe there is a great biological reason for that. All's I'm sayin' is, if I was a bird, I'd sleep in and wait for the worms to hit the sidewalk. They struggle less when near death, and my meal has already been cooked for me.

Montgomery smells like mothballs. I noticed this as I was driving into town one weekend. Maybe one of the nearby plants created a funky smell, or maybe the mayor is trying to shoo-out the moth population. I should look into that. If you're going to Montgomery in the evening anytime soon, keep the windows up!

Attention all Volvo drivers! Yes, a Volvo is known to be one of the safest on the road today. However, please keep in mind that the whole "safe" thing works from a preventative standpoint. It does not grant you any kind of superpowers or promote you to God-mode. So the next time you think you'll dart quickly into my lane, while I am close enough to see you picking your nose, please remember this stellar advice.

That is all.

The Easter Bulldog

2005-04-04T16:52:00.000-05:00

Holy crap! Terror by tattoo: 2 held in N.Y.

On that note, how was your Easter weekend? Mine was fun. I took off Friday-- we didn't get holiday leave for it-- because my brother was coming home. He actually flew in last Tuesday night, so my folks drove up then to get him and have dinner with me. We went to Surin-- yummy! I drove home Friday morning, hung around the house some, and wait until the evening festivities. It was my cousin's birthday, so we were meeting them at Buck's in Prattville for dinner. How to describe Buck's.... The words redneck, stuffed deer butts, and huge steaks come in mind. It was good eating.

The next day we drove my brother back to the airport and my mom and I went shopping. Thanks, Mom! My spring wardrobe is off to a good start. :) We went by to check on Mr. Scampy and then came back home to watch The Notebook. It's definitely a chick flick, and a gut-wrenching one at that. But I will always believe in it's message-- true love is always better than a "recommended" love. A perfect boyfriend will not make you happy unless you love him to the point of not being able to be you without him.

On Sunday, we went to church with my grandma and relatives down in Greenville. Even though the weather was bad, I couldn't have been happier. There's something about being dressed up and getting rained on that makes me giddy. Reminds me of the night of Brio's, Marty's, and running to the ATM in the rain. Ah, good times. Anywho, after church, we had an Easter Egg hunt for the two little cousins (once the storm had calmed). My uncle, being the devilish man he is, tucked a plastic egg into his bulldog's collar. Once the kids came outside, and Buster (the dog) heard the screeching, he took off for quieter areas. Not an easy feat when you have a 5 year old chasing after the egg around your neck. As a result, I have a comedic video clip of a boy chasing a dog. Doesn't sound funny, but trust me-- tis.

Holy Crap!: Part Two Look, ma! No hands!

Fast forward through a crap week of TV and bad weather. I met Jonathan, my dance partner, for dinner and met his significant other. I approve heartily, and we all had a great time. The next morning, my pal, Jenn, who is moving to Orlando for her jobby-job, came up to see me. This was to be our "last blast" weekend together. We went shopping, ate good food, and went to G&D's BBQ where she got to meet all my B'ham peeps. Afterwards, a trip to The U was in order, where the seats were so comfortable that I almost feel asleep. Heh, guess that's why they're called "night caps."

Well said, dude. Living Will

Saturday night, as Jenn and I slumbered, I had a dream that I had been pulled over for drunk-driving. Now, I don't get on the roads if I am not capable of driving, but I have driven when I have had some amount of alcohol in me. A nasty thing to do-- I know-- and I deserve to be shot in a public square. But that dream made me realize that I better be careful or a DUI record could be the least of my burdens. After all, how many drunks do you know that are capable of making good judgments?

Water discovered on Mars?

P.S. Yes, I am bypassing that whole making out story. I would erase the post altogether, but the comments I got on it were the first signs of readership that I have had in a long time. *sigh*

Reach for your goals!

2005-03-20T05:35:00.000-06:00

I totally made out with someone tonight. Who? Remember Ian from "Be prepared to be hated?" Yeah-- him.

Want the scoop? Well tough. It'll have to wait until it's NOT 5:30 am on an Sunday morning.

I think I can squeeze you in.

2005-03-18T22:47:00.000-06:00

What's going down, yo:
* Worked two nights in a row-- last night and tonight. Made $100. Eh. At least Mac, Sus, Greg, and Matt came to see me! Wheeee!
* St. Patty's was fun nonetheless. Met some peeps out after my moonlighting job and had a few Guinnesses and Irish Car Bombs. Today wasn't too bad to live through. I was thoroughly disappointed that the one time I was prepared to make out with a cute stranger, I was too picky and not drunk enough. And the guys were acting like chodes.
* The gang had a poker night last Saturday. 10 peeps put in $5, Cliff took hom $30, I took home $20. w00t. Don't mess with me, man!
* Took my happy self to Zydeco last Friday to hear Appetite for Destruction. Going solo to events is fun. I met some great people who helped save my second rwow spot, and we took turns buying the beer. These guys were better than the real GNR. No, seriously.
* My Latin Dance class is over. It was fun, and I am now intermediate in the Cha-Cha, Rumba, and Tango. And yes, the Tango is every bit as sexy as it looks on TV.
* Ben Stein spoke at my alma mater on Monday. Did I go? No.
* Still looking for my dream (and affordable) apartment.
* Met Mac, Sus, Becca, Buns, and Greg for Chinese on Wednesday. Yummy fun for everyone.
* My brother will be in state on business, so he might get to be here for Easter Weekend. Hooray!

Up ahead:
* After work fun at Marty's in about...and hour or two.
* Easter
* Possible return to dancing with the Intermediate/Advance Ballroom and Latin Dance

And that's it for me...for now. Much love!

The Song that Moved Me: Part One

2005-03-09T16:51:00.000-06:00

I particularly loved this song when I was dating JJ, but that turned into shit. Understatement of the year, eh? Anywho, Avril didn't put him up to it, so I can't hold it against her lovely song. Therefore, I still rocketh out to it.

"Things I'll Never Say"
by Avril Lavigne

I’m tugging at my hair
I’m pulling at my clothes
I’m trying to keep my cool
I know it shows
I’m staring at my feet
My checks are turning red
I’m searching for the words inside my head

Cause I’m feeling nervous
Trying to be so perfect
Cause I know you’re worth it
You’re worth it
Yeah

If I could say what I want to say
I'd say I wanna blow you... away
Be with you every night
Am I squeezing you too tight?
If I could say what I want to see
I want to see you go down
On one knee
Marry me today
Yes, I’m wishing my life away
With these things I’ll never say

It don’t do me any good
It’s just a waste of time
What use is it to you
What’s on my mind
If it ain’t coming out
We’re not going anywhere
So why can’t I just tell you that I care

What’s wrong with my tongue
These words keep slipping away
I stutter, I stumble
Like I’ve got nothing to say

Faux Jovi

2005-03-06T01:55:00.000-06:00

I just witnessed the most awesomest thing ever-- Slippery When Wet: The Ultimate Bon Jovi Tribute Band. See, I have been wanting to see Bon Jovi for a long time now, definitely before I am 30. But now, I may not need to so bad. A lot of bands that "cover" songs from popular bands do a good job, but tribute bands go that extra mile. For example, Slippery When Wet (SWW) not only plays all Bon Jovi songs, but they sound like them, dress like them, and even LOOK like them. The singer even has the same tattoos! Now that is hardcore! And the Richie Sambora imposter wears the same hats!

But SWW is not the only band that takes it to the max. There are:
1.) SWW - UPDATE (3/6): I had previously posted a link to the wrong SWW tribute band. Apparently, there is more than one. I can't find a website for the one I saw, but the new link does prove that they look more like Bon Jovi than the ones from Jersey. Want a good laugh? Watch their commercial. They suck.
2.) 2U, the U2 tribute band. I recommend checking out their audio section. Not only do they sound like them, but they look like them, too. My sis, who is a bonofied Bono expert (lovely pun), could not tell the difference between the real Bono and the fake Bono.
3.) Appetite for Destruction - I mean, wow. Tell me that doesn't look like them. I dare ya!

Now all I need to see is a Robert Palmer (and Union Station) tribute band, and I am set.

I also went horseback riding today, and my ass and thighs are sore. The ironic thing is that I am willing to bet $100 on the fact that I had the most comfortable saddle. Still, all that squeezing.... My horse was awesome, though. He kept wanting to run away from the pack, and I so wish I could have. We had a fun time together. I <3 Jack.